By now, you’re probably right to assume that nobody is ever going to shut up about Michael Jackson’s death, ever.
Yes, he’s been dead since last June. But, the way things are going, there’s always going to be something for people to froth on about. First there was Michael Jackson’s death, then there was his silly golden coffin, then that creepy film of his – and now there’s the fact that an amended death certificate confirms Michael Jackson’s cause of death as homicide.
You’re also probably right to assume that this is the first thing of Michael Jackson’s since his death that Jermaine Jackson won’t try and take undue credit for. But who knows, eh? He does seem to love doing that an awful lot.
You know how Michael Jackson died after taking a dose of that unusually powerful sedative that he’d become hopelessly addicted to? Well you’ll never guess what – the latest word on the street is that Michael Jackson’s real cause of death was a dose of that unusually powerful sedative that he’d become hopelessly addicted to. We know, we’re just as shocked as you are.
But it’s all there, in an amended Michael Jackson death certificate that’s just been uncovered by the News Of The World. Here’s what it had to say on the matter:
On the original July 7 certificate deputy coroner Cheryl MacWillie refuses to give a cause of death. But after further probes, it is amended on August 31 by medical examiner Christopher Rogers to “homicide”. He concludes Jacko died from “acute Propofol intoxication” due to an “intra-venous injection by another”.
This – apart from reinforcing something that everyone already knew from about two hours after Michael Jackson died anyway – means that all heads now turn to Dr Conrad Murray, the doctor who allegedly administered the drug. He’s already been blamed for Michael Jackson’s death by Janet Jackson, and now he’s thought to be in the process of hiring a defence attorney in case he ends up getting charged with involuntary manslaughter.
If that happens, and the case goes to trial, then at least we’ll all get to finally discover Murray’s sick motives for finishing Michael Jackson off. Was it down to a personal grudge between the pair? Or was it down to Murray’s rampant jealousy over Michael Jackson’s enormous fame and wealth? Or was it maybe, just maybe, because Michael Jackson was addicted to Propofol and he paid for Murray to supply him with it and administer it to him and if Murray didn’t do it then Michael Jackson would have quickly found another doctor who would? Maybe we’ll never know.
We’re not even sure if we buy the homicide angle at all, in fact. Because, just a few short months ago, Michael Jackson’s spirit was summoned up on live TV. And if he was murdered, he would have probably wanted to mention that from beyond the grave. But he didn’t. He just said “Say hello to Quincy Jones for me!” in a funny voice and then wobbled his head around a bit. We’re no lawyers, but we think that means Dr Conrad Murray has no need to worry.
We should probably stress again that we’re not lawyers. Honestly, we can’t make that clear enough.
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Shooty* says
I am, and I’m not touching this with a barge pole.
lauri says
what is so silly about his coffin or creepy about his movie? u just love adjectives don’t you, just throw them in anywhere
GetReadyToGetFucked says
thats one really biased and overly emotinal aricle. your uncontrolabe hate clearly drips off your words. please go and take a pain killer and save the rest of us
Florencia, from Argentina says
I agree with you, this man is just a poor little soul, poor human being, he doesn
Anne says
This is a disgusting article and the writer should be ashamed of himself.
heyman says
“…silly golden casket, creepy film of his..” what better thing has the writer of this article done for the world?
Richard says
Seems to me Dr. Murray was not jealous of Michael’s Name and Fame he was doing it for Big$$$$$$$ coz he is such an asshole but i should mention after going through this article this writer is definately jealous of Michael’s Name and Wealth…Get a Life ! and The KING OF POP IS gone but still he is in the news so writers cant accept the fact that there wont be any Michael Jackson in the HIstory of Music and this Years to come anyways you (writer) need to accept fact that THE LEGEND MICHAEL WILL LIVE FOREVER THROUGH HIS MUSIC….peace.
hoohaahee says
Just got back to work after the Christmas/new year break. 2010 is finally here, a time when, as I child, I believed we’d all be living in a blade-runner-esque environment.
Ok, so flying cars haven’t arrived (yet), but the wonderful, unanticipated rise of the internet is truly joyous.
..it offers the opinions of celebrity-blinded, grammatically-impoverished fuckwits who STILL dont believe the obvious truth about MJ..
yes says
it’s not dead!
damian smith says
“By now, you
???????? says
Stuart Heritage, you suck!!! how dare you talk about mj’s death like that!!! and he will always be in the news or talked about because he is and will always be the king of pop and im sorry if your jealous at the fact that you will never ever be as good as he was and go get a freaking life dude!!!
manisha says
disgusting article by a silly and creepy author.
Tony Gun 47 says
i loved the movie..and there was nothing creepy about MJ’s coffin.MJ was a king and this guy is oblivious to the enormous amount of fame and wealth that MJ had.
MJ was an addict nobody did anything to stop it. The DR.’s greed should be the decieding factor that finally locks him up.
JoeMomma says
Mindless MJ fans. Gotta love them. I’m glad they can take time out of their busy day watching daytime talk shows to try and change the worlds mind about MJ. Blissfully ignoring what a no talent freakshow this guy was. Keep watching the TV, you’ll feel it’s soothing waves turn your mind to mush. Oh whats that? It’s the magic bullet. Order yours today!
Monica says
Disgusting article by an more disgusting author.
Mr. Stuart Heritage your hate hate/jealousy for MJ is quite obvious. Can anything be more silly and creepy than your article? U are such a LOSER!! Get a life!!!
JoeDaddy says
JoeMomma, if you don’t like the guy that’s okay but try doing some research on Michael Jackson; come back, if you still feel the same that’s okay too and perhaps you can write an intelligent comment as to why you feel the way you do. At least you would have done your own research and not continue to feed into the media and tabloid junk.
crusindeb says
correct
LOVE YOU MICHAEL!!!!
~ Hugs ~
crusindeb says
crusindeb says
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
Ben Burnett says
Ignore these comments Stuart, I for one know that you folks have your fingers on the pulse of Pop Culture, or your penis, you can feel a pulse there, oh thats neat. Never mind that, great enlightning article, but what of Mikeys brain? I have asked you repeatedly for an update, like where is it for starters for over a week now. You guys have it, dont you, you’ve emptied a large jar of pickled herring and shoved it in. It deserves better, dill juice and double up on the garlic, in case you play Thriller and it hears it.
Will not rest til I know for sure.
Eugene says
You have to wonder how the MJ freaks find this place. Do they spend all their time hunting down articles that say nasty things about their idol or what? The only other celebrity here that attracts the same kind of venom here is/was Miley Cyrus, but not to anything like the same extent. And all her fans probably grew up since the last time she featured here anyway.
s says
Stuart, don’t worry. When you kick the bucket no one will talk about you because you are no body. Loser.
Debbie says
I don’t swear much…but the man who wrote this article is an ass. Sorry Michael…I know you hate swearing…but I just couldn’t help it.
TBM says
Aren’t you doing exactly the thing you’re critisizing? “Prattling on about Michael Jackson’s death”?
I don’t see how “This Is It” was creepy. Seems like a pretty tame concert film/documentary to me. How is it creepy again?
How is his gold coffin silly? Are other coffins not silly? If it were mahogany with paneled sides and a velvet liner that “only” cost $3,000 would it be “not silly”.
Aren’t you clever and superior. We are all so impressed.
JoeMomma says
No they have the whole head in a jar a-la Futureama.
Susanne says
Michael Jackson was the victim of an irresponsible media and people who write lies that continue to destroy Michael Jackson’s reputation. Please visit mjtruthnow.com or mjtruthdotcom and join our group. We need “Michael’s Law” to put a stop to this hate.
Deborah Ffrench says
Compelling article.
…..and yeah, that is ironic.
JoeMomma says
MJ hated swaring, I guess that he was teaching all those kids at his house. Yeah…. thats it.
You’re a nut saying sorry to someone who’s rotting in hell.
magnetite says
Reasons why Michael Jackson cannot possibly know that you swore:
a) He’s dead,
b) Unless he merged with the internet at the moment of death, he’s not doing deep packet inspection of network traffic,
b)i) (and if he is, he’s probably doing it over at 4chan)
and c) He’s dead (This bears repeating).
As for swearing – I don’t know about you or Jackson, but if I felt the cold fingers of death tighten around my stilled heart I’d try to aim a few expletives at the man with the syringe before the end.
hoohaahee says
Possibly the best (and certainly my favourite) quote about MJ, made by triumph the insult comic dog outside MJ’s trial:
“Of course, until the trial’s over, none of us can really know whether Michael Jackson is innocent or guilty. But there’s one thing we do know — he’s guilty.”
another triumph quote, which considering some of the posts here, is accurate to a nanometer:
“The poopy stench of media scum is neutralized by the sweet and pungent aroma of lunacy that is the Michael Jackson fan.”
to the guy suggesting “michaels law” : only an absolute fucking idiot would propose a “law” which apes “megans law” in defense of a fucking paedo.
SWB says
“No talent freakshow” you say? According to you then, millions of people in the world, perhaps a billion or so, are wrong about MJ, but, by God, not you. Funniest thing I’ve heard in a while.
SWB says
Great quote from another great man! Thanks :)
Once in a blue moon says
How come you’re here then sunshine?
Yeah….right.
Once in a blue moon says
Show me your proof and I’ll join you round the lit fires.
But you can’t can you?
Mr Michael Jackson was proven innocent, and he is innocent.
Read a book (or two), investigate behind the headlines,invest some time in some research…..but do the goddamned work before you malign someone’s father, son and brother. Because right now -you’re only painfully exposing your own ignorance.
And you are hurting people.
Eugene says
Why am I here?
I find the reaction of MJ freaks to articles like this to be hysterical.
I’m not judgemental about Micheal. But I’ve always hated mindless adulation of anyone.
Alex says
Dear Stuart Heritage, could you have someone shoot me a email([email protected]) when u die, so i can write a big article on how nobody cared when you did finally die and posibly how ur death doesn’t really affect anyone because your not in anycase irrelevant………….thanx,
your pal, alex
Michael Fan says
Stuart,
People like you are the exact reason why ‘people keep prattling on about Michael Jackson’s death’. You obviously are a serious loser who has nothing better do to with his time than mock Michael Jackson. When you receive the awards he did in his lifetime, make the money he did and contribute to charities at the level he did, then maybe you can open your big fat moth and someone will listen or give you one ounce of credibility. Until then..find another job that makes you proud becasue you are just another example of human waste.
robert says
Your comments are awaiting moderation
Vicy says
I miss Michael and I want him back. I don’t see any other reason he would be dead other than money cuz he was too young to die from natural causes.