Knight Rider presented a terrible warning to the world, a warning about curly-haired nitwits with very obvious egomania going around solving crimes with the aid of a car that spat out all kinds of disparaging remarks in a slightly gay voice.
But despite it having the exact same voice as Mr Feeny from Boy Meets World, thousands of young men growing up in the 1980s wanted a car that could drive itself like KITT from Knight Rider – because a car that could drive itself meant that they had more time to fire guns at baddies or try and feel up their feisty occasional female sidekick. And now that dream will finally come true for one lucky Knight Rider fan – one of the four original Pontiac Trans Am KITTs from Knight Rider is being sold off for the giveaway price of $150,000. It goes without saying that this KITT won't be able to speak or drive itself, but $150,000 will easily leave the discerning Knight Rider fan enough money to employ a gay-sounding midget to hide under the dashboard and steer it, saying "I don't think that's a good idea Michael" whenever spoken to.
There's nothing like a sale of celebrity memorabilia to weed out the men from the boys, or the creepily obsessive stalkerish nutjobs from the men, or whatever. Usually there are three types of celebrity memorabilia sale; the iconic – like John Lennon's Abbey Road suit or Audrey Hepburn's Breakfast At Tiffany's dress; the obscure – like Jerry Garcia's toilet or Syd Barrett's bread bin; and the weird; like William Shatner's kidney stone or Britney Spears' hair. Somehow, though, the sale of a KITT car from Knight Rider manages to be all three. BBC News reports:
One of four "talking" cars used in TV series Knight Rider is being sold for $150,000 (£76,000) in California. Known as Kitt – or Knight Industries Two Thousand – the Pontiac Trans Am was driven by actor David Hasselhoff during the American drama in the 1980s. It has been restored, complete with the red "scanner" light on its bonnet.
It's literally impossible to underestimate the power that KITT can have on an individual. Knight Rider star David Hasselhoff wouldn't be where he is today without the help of KITT, for example – it was KITT that made Princess Diana want to shag David Hasselhoff, it was KITT who kickstarted the David Hasselhoff musical and it was KITT who bought up all the copies of Jump In My Car to save David Hasselhoff from yet another failed attempt at a musical career. So if KITT can do that for someone like David Hasselhoff, imagine what it could do for whoever buys KITT in this sale.
As for the rest of us – the ones who don't have $150,000 to spend – there's a much cheaper way to feel like David Hasselhoff. True, it involves drunkenly wetting yourself in an airport at 7am, but rather that than waking up knowing you've spent $150,000 on a non-driveable 25-year-old car just because it's got a flashing red light on the front, eh?
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Michael says
A “gay-sounding midget” ?
Dude! I have enough trouble with The Pope, Fred Phelps and “Christians”. I don’t need this stigma as well. Make fun og the British of something. PLease?
Schadeboy says
I’m with pligg.com, except I also want the ability to send an EM pulse at just about anyone I want, so I can shut down those slow drivers who insist on being in the left lane (in America). That, or give me a RPG system. And mount them on my new Ford Excursion.
Neal says
My goodness. So poorly written.
The author clearly has a problem with gay people.
It is amazing that homophobia can come up in a car article.
What a world……………
Eli says
Problem with gay people? For a little insignificant comment in passing like that? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Neal, I think you have a problem with straight people.
charlie "O" says
Why do gay people act like such faggots?