He’s Just Not That Into You Gives Weekend Box Office Its Number
Logic dictates that being shut in a room with Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck and Drew Barrymore is worse than hell.
But He’s Just Not That Into You is even worse, because whoever watches that is effectively being shut in a room with Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck and Drew Barrymore AND Justin Long AND the crap one from Entourage AND a story so nauseatingly that you’ll want to go and kick some puppies to balance things out.
Weirdly, though, He’s Just Not That Into You is the number one movie at the US weekend box office this week. People confuse us.
Some say that the weekend box office is often dictated by star power. And we’d have to agree, because He’s Just Not That Into You is the new weekend box office number one, and it stars a ridiculous amount of famous people.
But to that we’ll add that the weekend box office is also dictated by trailers featuring squash-faced women bleating on endlessly about how funny it is that men sometimes MySpace your Facebook with their Blackberry when they’re attracted to you, because He’s Just Not That Into You has that as well. Oh, and it’s also dictated by things that make us violently nauseous because… oh, you get the idea. Here’s the weekend box office top five…
1 - He’s Just Not That Into You (Now to forever be known as Wee Just Snot Twat Into Poo. Deal? Deal) $27,465,000
2 – Taken (We assume that Taken has fallen from first place in the weekend box office because people get confused by the sight of Liam Neeson as a kickass action star instead of a mystical Jesus lion. Typecasting’s a bastard, isn’t it) $20,300,000
3 - Coraline (We don’t know what this is, but it sounds like a form of prescription medicine that would make you all paranoid and sweaty. Incidentally, Coraline features the vocal talents of Dakota Fanning, so maybe we’re not far off) $16,335,000
4 - Pink Panther 2 (You have to admire Steve Martin’s dedication to trampling our happy childhood memories. First Bilko and now two Pink Panther movies? We have a tenner that says his next movie will be a less-good adaptation of the first time we rode a bike without stabilisers. Mark our words) $12,000,000
5 - Paul Blart: Mall Cop (BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!) $11,000,000
