About three minutes ago ol' Stu Heritage decided that today was gonna be the day he and Nicole Kidman run through a field of flowers bought with Scientology money. And so it is, the majestic all-powerful mantle of hecklerspray falls upon Shawn Lindseth, an olympic hopeful and partial amputee.

It's his foot. It's only partially amputated because it's just twisted backwards.

First thing first – there's gonna be some changes around here. For one, Oprah owns us now. For another, her check cleared and Shawn is $35 richer. Once laundered he should very much enjoy putting all that loot in an off-shore account, and then sitting back while he reaps the benefits of a suitable interest rate.

Now before Stu gets back on Monday, lets get this Oprah thing up in our banner. Does anybody know how to do that? And let's try to make it look real respectable.