Here’s A Weirdo Telling You How To Win Knife Fights

by Stuart Heritage on April 19, 2008 6 Comments


Knife fights are the bane of our bloody lives. Perhaps it’s because we joined that latino street gang, or perhaps it’s because when we get together we all walk down the street clicking our fingers like ponces, but everyone keeps trying to stab us.

But not any more. Now we’ve seen this instructional video on how to win at street knife fights, we’re going to be unstoppable. And you can, too, if you watch it. We’re no experts, but we’d say that this is probably the best murder tutorial presented by a bearded, ponytailed man called Animal and his even more terrifyingly demented sidekick who probably doesn’t even have a name that we’ve ever seen.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Ouston April 20, 2008 at 1:30 pm

nice action sequence at the one minute mark. He should use that knife to cut that ponytail. It’s not the 80s. What is this…. introduction to being a knife slinging serial killers for awkward amateurs?

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Sifu Kenny April 20, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Marc ‘Animal’ Macyoung is one of the most experienced and credible self defense instructors in the united states. He is the author of several books, and 4 instructional tapes.

His partner is a student of pentjak-silat, equally qualified to instruct in knife use.

You show your true grasp of the topic with your ridicule.

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Blumpkins April 21, 2008 at 2:19 am

He doesn’t need a knife to cut that ponytail, if he wants to lose the ponytail all he has to do is remove the wig. I bet that’s where the ‘animal’ nickname comes from. He needs to go throw it back on the side of the road where he found it.

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Ouston April 21, 2008 at 8:20 am

when he gets shot i’m calling him a moron. This isn’t a rumble. He’s gonna try to take a knife and get stabbed wanting to be Chuck Norris.

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flierpa April 21, 2008 at 9:22 am

i think it’s really depressing and psychotic that stuff like this exists at all. then again, i’m a naive woman who really hates violence. especially when demonstrated in this clinical way, as if killing someone with a knife is just another thing one does haphazardly or, then again, maybe one feels like planning one’s violence with some smooth moves.

i mean, good that he’s a pro and all that, we wouldn’t want an amateur showing us unprofessional murder moves.

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Horton Schnitzel April 21, 2008 at 12:58 pm

I need to know where SiFu Kenny lives so I can move far far away.

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