There's a very good chance that R Kelly will soon be convicted of child porn charges and sent to prison – now, if you were in R Kelly's situation, you'd probably want your final release to be an important piece of art to remind people why they liked you in the first place.

Yeah. R Kelly didn't get that memo. Instead, just before his child porn court case kicks into action, R Kelly has decided to release another DVD of Trapped In The Closet episodes. If you haven't seen R Kelly's original Trapped In The Closet episodes you've missed a gem of gunplay, inexplicable plot twists and a syntax-melting narration sung by R Kelly himself. But, hey, just to get you up to speed, here's how R Kelly has decided to fill you in on past episodes of Trapped In The Closet – by singing the entire story in summary from beginning to end, never failing to chime in with an "oh shit" every time something of importance happens. Enjoy – and please let us know if you can work out how seriously R Kelly is taking himself.