Just ask Helena Bonham Carter, who – after appearing in every Tim Burton movie made this millennium – has just had Tim Burton's baby girl. Details on Helena Bonham Carter's baby girl are scant at the moment, so it's not known if Tim Burton managed to film the birth or. Let's hope he didn't, since Johnny Depp would have been contractually expected to follow the baby by crawling out of Helena Bonham Carter's gore-soaked ladybits, only to jig around the maternity ward covered in blood and amniotic fluid singing a pretty little song about how nice it is to get your hair cut.
Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have just had a baby. There's nothing spectacularly shocking about that since Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton told everyone that they were having a baby back in August – although we now know that the Bonham Carter Burton baby is a little girl, as opposed to a boy or one of those massive double-mouthed black and white striped sand-worms from Beetlejuice, which we think could have been a possibility.
But that's about it – nobody knows what Helena Bonham Carter's baby is called yet. And since Bonham Carter and Tim Burton famous live in separate houses next to each other with adjoining doors, nobody really knows what the baby care situation will be either, although logic dictates that they'll just plonk the baby in a corridor and take turns getting her when she cries too loudly or the smell of baby-poo becomes too overwhelming. It's what we'd do, anyway.
That wasn't really addressed in the baby statement from Helena Bonham Carter's slave, and more's the pity. But what was said was this:
"They are absolutely delighted they have a daughter. It's a lovely Christmas present for the family."
A lovely Christmas present, yes, but not a Nintendo Wii, which is what we hear Tim Burton really wanted – as such, we hear that Tim Burton is sulking because Helena didn't manage to squeeze one of those out from her tumpsy like he asked.
However, the baby couldn't have come at a better time for Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, because it's happened days after each of them received Golden Globe nominations for their respective work on Sweeney Todd – Tim Burton is in the running for Best Director while Helena Bonham Carter has got a nod for Best Actress.
But it doesn't matter if either of them win their Golden Globes at all, because their new baby girl is the biggest award of them all. A big fleshy award that shits everywhere, cries a lot and in 20 years't time will constantly feel guilty for never calling them. Which puts it roughly in league with a National Board Of Review award.