Now, yes, we know that Heidi Montag called herself ‘beyond obsessed’ with plastic surgery last week.

That’s true. It’s also true that Heidi Montag said this from the cover of a magazine while showing off the results of the ten different plastic surgery procedures that she’d undergone in a single day recently. But that doesn’t mean that Heidi Montag has an addiction – and she’s appeared on Good Morning America to deny the claims.

However, we’re not so sure that we believe her. For one, Heidi Montag underwent ten different plastic surgery procedures in a single day – which doesn’t seem like the behaviour of a normal person to us. And, secondly, she denied her addiction through her newly-installed blowhole.

We’re a little concerned for Heidi Montag at the moment. We could be wrong, but she appears to have bitten off a little more than she can chew. Not only does she have to keep up her usual desperate levels of self-promotion and play the loving wife to a man who appears to have a dangerous outbreak of athlete’s foot where his beard should be, but she’s also just released a new album packed with countless Autotuned ditties about what a bitch she is.

And if that wasn’t enough, she’s also got to figure out how her body works, too. Because most of it doesn’t belong to her any more. Thanks to the ten separate cosmetic procedures she endured a few weeks ago, Heidi’s got new boobs, a new nose, a better bottom, a tighter brow and – if we’re to believe the rumour that we just invented – her tumpsy now smells like the inside of a new pencil case.

But that doesn’t mean that she’s addicted to plastic surgery, though. And admitting that she’s obsessed with it – which she did in a magazine article last week – doesn’t make her addicted either. In fact, Heidi Montag is so unaddicted to plastic surgery that she’s appeared on Good Morning America to reveal her profound lack of addiction. Although, you know, she couldn’t stand too close to the studio lights in case one of her nipples melted. And she had to rush off early to legally declare mannequin status for herself for tax purposes. But, anyway, the New York Daily News reports:

The 23-year-old TV personality told People she was “beyond obsessed” with plastic surgery in last week’s issue, but now says she’s not addicted to it after her remarks sparked criticism. “I would say that none of those people know me at all, and that’s just a judgment,” Montag said on “Good Morning America” Tuesday. “I’m not addicted. If I were addicted, I would have had 10 plastic surgeries.”

She’s got a point. If Heidi Montag did suffer from an addiction to plastic surgery, then she would have had ten plastic surgeries. You know, like the ten plastic surgeries she had a few weeks ago in a single day before telling People magazine that she was ‘beyond obsessed’ with plastic surgery. So just because she did the precise thing that she said she’d need to do to be addicted to plastic surgery, it doesn’t mean that Heidi Montag is addicted to plastic surgery. Honestly, we can’t make ourselves any clearer than that.

Still, Heidi Montag shouldn’t worry that all this surgery is making her seem like a bad role model for young girls. Because we suspect that anybody who thinks of Heidi Montag as any kind of role model probably deserves everything they get.

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