Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases.
It’s Monday. We feel your pain.
But as you waddle into work, weighed down by the enormous turdload you have spent the weekend saving so that you may spend an hour of the boss’s time reading a newspaper this morning, do not despair.
Because when you make it back to your desk, feeling like Octomom after she pumped out her kids, there’ll be a nice little surprise waiting for you.
Here’s your Mango!
As per the usual norm, we review some of the upcoming week’s musics, and then represent each as a thought. Naturellement.
This week, in memory of the mighty John Hughes, The Mango will be viewed through 80s-tinted spectacles, and each thought will feature a mutilated quote from one of the great man’s films.
Firstly: Play Some Pool Skip Some School Act Real Cool, Bruce Springsteen/Various Artists. The Gods are surely mocking the world’s 30-year old men this week.
First, they take away John Hughes – the man responsible for 50% of their teenage years’ most lasting memories. Just days later, as if in an attempt to even the score, they give them a tribute album to Bruce, responsible for another 7% (a copy of Born To Run, a tennis racquet, and a dream of being American).
The other 43% by the way? Masturbation.
PSPSSSARC, as the world seems unlikely to begin calling it, is a collection of covers which span a large part of The Boss’s output and which feature some wildly differing musical styles.
Laugh as British 70s revivalists The Glam Chops sing Born In The USA over a Gary Glitter drumbeat.
Cry as Butcher Boy delivers a tender version of Streets Of Philadelphia.
And consider taking an axe to your iPod as several interchangably bland people suck all emotion from their chosen songs (we’re looking at you, Orange Nichole and Thewintersleep).
So, credit to Bruce for the diversity shown in choosing the acts, but debit for not being firm enough to say no to a few of them (38 tracks is far too many when the quality is so variable).
This album is represented by the thought:
“Six bucks and my right nut says Springsteen didn’t listen to his staff when they told him some of these are just rubbish.”
Secondly: Under The Covers Volume Two, Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs. Interestingly, 74% of the 43% of memories mentioned above feature Susanna.
Which means that the ex-Bangles singer was responsible for more dirty socks in the 1980s than the combined efforts of sweat, grass and Glastonbury.
This is the second collaboration between Sweet and Hoffs (Swoffs, anybody?), and again, much of it sounds like a poor man’s Paul Westerberg with singing by… well, that lady from The Bangles.
Yes, her voice is unmistakable, and quite emotive for people of a certain age. Try listening to Everything I Own without thinking of Manic Monday.
That song is a standout, along with You’re So Vain and I’ve Seen All Good People. The whole album is fairly pleasant listening but, again, would have been much better with more aggressive editing.
This album is represented by the thought:
“Screws fall out all the time. The world – oh, and this album – is an imperfect place.”
That’s us for this week. We’re off now for a Hughes marathon: the rebellious The Breakfast Club; the hilarious Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; and the unstoppable, funny-but-sad Planes, Trains And Automobiles.
Remember, Mangons: always make sure that they’re pillows.
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