hecklerspray Gig Guide: 28/11 - 4/12-2005

Cervantes apparently once said "he who sings scares away his woes." Cervantes? Wasn’t he a character from Soul Calibur? Not even a good one, either. We’d be more interested in hearing what the creepy gimp character had to say. Keep it quiet next time Cervantes, you big scary pirate.

It’s time for another hecklerspray gig guide - all the finest concerts going on around the country in the next seven days boiled down to one page so informative that your eyes will fall out if you read it all in one go.

This week’s gig guide features appearances from A Flock Of Seagulls, A-Ha, Chemical Brothers, Kelly Clarkson, The Dead 60’s, Missy Elliott, Electric Soft Parade, Hard Fi, The Mars Volta and Suffrajets.

A Flock Of Seagulls - Name-checked in Pulp Fiction, part of the GTA
Vice City soundtrack, derided by everyone else, the mighty Flock reform
to show people if there was ever anything more to them than funny
haircuts. Buy tickets
Sun 4 Dec 19:00, Liverpool Academy

A-Ha - The men behind Take On Me and that other one that U2 ripped
off for Beautiful Day reform so that everyone can pretend that they’re
being chased around a badly sketched cartoon with them. Buy tickets
Sat 3 Dec 19:00, NEC Birmingham
Sun 4 Dec 19:00, Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow

Chemical Brothers - The speccy one and the one that looks like
Dennis from Eastenders come together to play all the hits you want to
hear, plus a bunch of stuff off their last two rubbish albums. Buy tickets
Fri 2 Dec 19:00, SECC, Glasgow
Sat 3 Dec 09:00, Ulster Hall, County Antrim

Kelly Clarkson - The girl who, by winning American Idol, is
officially American version of Michelle McManus. Only skinnier,
prettier and able to sell records. Buy tickets
Tues 29 Nov 19:00, KOKO, Camden

The Dead 60’s - UB40 play white reggae and everyone laughs. The Dead
60’s do the same thing and they become America-conquering heroes.
What’s the deal with that? Buy tickets
Mon 28 Nov 19:00, Carling Academy, Birmingham
Wed 30 Nov 19:00, Glasgow Garage

Electric Soft Parade - Makers of the brilliant Holes In The Wall album and that other one that nobody bought. Buy tickets
Wed 30 Nov 19:30, Barfly Birmingham

Missy Elliott - Which Missy will come to London? The brilliant
elephant-sampling, backwards-talking Missy or the rubbish
cartoon-soundtracking Missy? Buy tickets
Mon 28 Nov 18:30, Carling Apollo, Hammersmith

Hard Fi - As much as their music is, well, kind of OK, Hard Fi have
the most slappable frontman we have ever seen. We even have to turn the
TV on when an advert for their album comes on. Imagine what he’d be
like live. Buy tickets
Sat 3 Dec 19:30, Sheffield Octagon

The Mars Volta - The most needlessly complicated band around. Don’t expect them to cover It’s Chico Time. Buy tickets
Wed 30 Nov 19:00, Carling Academy Birmingham
Thurs 1 Dec 19:00, Carling Apollo, Manchester

Suffrajets - Brilliant girl band ahoy! Buy tickets
Sat 3 Nov 19:30, Barfly Birmingham