"Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life." So said Jean Paul Richter, and what a stupid bloody hippy he was.

Here’s this week’s hecklerspray Gig Guide: a list of all the best gigs – and none of the rubbish ones – that you’ll be able to see in the next seven days. You lucky people…

Alexisonfire - Loud screaming Canadians named after
the world’s only lactating contortionist over-exert themselves three
times for your entertainment. If you like that sort of thing – buy tickets
Tues 25 Oct 20:00, King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut, Glasgow
Wed 26 Oct 20:00, King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut, Glasgow
Sat 29 Oct 19:00, Mean Fiddler, London

Athlete - The only band in the world that makes Coldplay look like Iron Maiden – buy tickets
Tues 25 Oct 19:00, Carling Apollo, Manchester
Wed 25 Oct 19:00, Carling Apollo, Manchester
Fri 28 Oct 19:00, Carling Academy, Glasgow
Sat 29 Oct 19:00, Corn Exchange, Edinburgh

Dandy
Warhols – They’re either advert-soundtracking cheeky pop scoundrels or
psychedelic drone jammers, depending on what mood they’re in – buy tickets
Wed 26 Oct 19:00, Hammersmith Palais, London

El Presidente – Glorious glam rock. El Presidente are smashing. Really - buy tickets
Tues 25 19:30, Liverpool Academy
Wed 26 Oct 19:00, Kings College, London
Thurs 27 Oct 19:00, Fleece & Firkin, Bristol
Sat 29 Oct 19:00, University of Northumbria
Sun 30 Oct 19:00, Manchester Academy 3

Guillemots
- hecklerspray made Guillemots ‘folded’ a few weeks ago, because
they’re good. Catch them this week before we change our ultra-fickle
minds – buy tickets
Wed 26 Oct 19:00, Metro Club, London

Happy Mondays – God’s greatest warning against pies and drugs reform again to murder their back catalogue – buy tickets
Thurs 27 Oct 19:00, Carling Academy, Birmingham
Sat 29 19:30, M.E.N Arena, Manchester

I Am Kloot – Above-average dour Northerners – buy tickets
Sat 29 Oct 19:30, Astoria, London

Kano - Young Grime upstart that all the kids listen to. May or may not have a beef with Lethal Bizzle – buy tickets
Thurs 27 Oct 19:00, Scala, London

Shout
Out Louds – Sweden is just about the best country in the world for new
music at the moment, and Shout Out Louds are a darn fine example – buy tickets
Tues 25 Oct 19:00, Barfly, Birmingham