hecklerspray Gig Guide: 19-25 December 2005

Ludwig Van Beethoven once said "Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman." It’s thought that he said this after a few failed experiments with music where he made fire come out of a man’s eyes.

It’s the last hecklerspray gig guide of the year! Hurrah! All the best music of the next seven days squeezed and packed into a special little bundle, like the bundle that Baby Jesus was wrapped up in before he floated down the Nile. No wait, that was Moses, wasn’t it?

It’s a diddy gig guide this week, and it only features Chico, Coldplay, Nizlopi, Oasis, Mark Owen, The Pogues and Joss Stone. Why so small? It’s Christmas at the weekend. Didn’t you even know that? 

Chico - Now, we’re not entirely sure
which Chico this is. We’d love to be able to tell that it’s a gig by
Chico from X Factor, and that he’s bringing that little dancing black
kid to bodypop his way through all his songs. It’s probably not,
though. It’s probably some sad Mexican folk singer who writes songs
about how lonely the sea is. But - hey - you’re curious, aren’t you? Click for Chico dates and tickets

Coldplay
- Christmas is coming, and what better way to celebrate than to go and
watch four vaguely morose people making music in a great big room?
Seriously, what better? Click for Coldplay dates and tickets

Nizlopi
- Now, a Nizlopi concert must be a thing to behold. It’s obviously the
Nizlopi lap of honour, as they’re contenders for Christmas number one
this year. But what are they going to do? Amble onstage and mumble a song
about a baby on a digger and then go again? Click for Nizlopi dates and tickets

Oasis
- Seeing as it’s Christmas, cross your fingers and hope that Noel does
that cover of Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade that Oasis released a
few years ago. We heard it in a shop the other day and we swear it has
a ten minute outro. And not in a good way. Click for Oasis dates and tickets

Mark
Owen - This is the last time that you’ll be able to see Mark Owen in
his tiny indie form. Next time he hits the road he’ll be the giant
invincible popstar in his gazillion-selling Take That form. Click for Mark Owen dates and tickets

The
Pogues - Like Nizlopi, The Pogues have their own Christmas single to
plug - a re-release of Fairytale Of New York. Brilliant! But Kirstie
MacColl has died, so they need a replacement female singer. Who have
The Pogues picked? Katie Melua. Oh… Click for The Pogues dates and tickets

Joss
Stone - Last week, Joss Stone was named the best celebrity dog owner in
the world. What are we suggesting? That you take orphaned dogs to her
concerts and fling them at her as she sings? Yes. Click for Joss Stone dates and tickets