hecklerspray Gig Guide: 12 - 18/12/05

There’s an anonymous quote which goes:
"A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn’t like the tune." Whoever said that has obviously never tried listening to an entire Yes album.

Here’s this week’s hecklerspray gig guide - all the best concerts around the country in the next seven days packed into a big hairy clump of information. This week’s hecklerspray gig guide features Coldplay, Duran Duran, Embrace, Ben Folds, Oasis, Robert Plant, Daniel Powter, Stereophonics and Rod Stewart…

Coldplay - Imagine being Chris Martin. Married to Gwyneth Paltrow,
naming children after fruit, singing U2-ish songs with meaningless
lyrics, climbing all over robots in pop videos. We’re not sure where
we’re going with this, but - you know - just imagine. Click for dates and tickets.

Duran Duran - The original Duran Duran line-up is back back back,
with 30% more paunch, 12% more osteoporosis and 0% good songs written
in the last 10 years. Click for dates and tickets.

Embrace - The best thing about Embrace is that they always do quite
well, let the success go to their heads and then royally mess it up.
Their last album did pretty well, so now’s the time to see if they
balls up their comeback dates. Click for dates and tickets.

Ben Folds - Remember! This isn’t funny, kooky Ben Folds Five Ben
Folds. This is serious, slightly maudlin grown-up Songs For Silverman
Ben Folds. Don’t expect him to play Song For The Dumped.  Click for dates and tickets.

Oasis - Yes, they haven’t been any good for ten years. Yes, they
make crushingly dull music. But, hey, Noel Gallagher called Jack White
"Zorro on doughnuts," last week. There’s a job here for you when the
music thing dries up, Noel. Click for dates and tickets.

Robert Plant And The Strange Sensation - If you go and see Robert
Plant this week, be careful. Jude Law went to see Robert Plant and he
ended up doing the nasty business with his nanny. Warning over. Click for dates and tickets.

Daniel Powter - Just a couple of weeks ago, Daniel Powter was a
struggling singer songwriter eking out a minimum-wage living. Then
Journey South covered one of his songs on X Factor and - kablammo! -
acceptance and success was his. Click for dates and tickets.

Stereophonics - We like the fact that The Stereophonics are really
trying hard to ditch their trad old image. And we love that it isn’t
working. If this keeps up we should expect a concept album about the
mind of a milkbottle sung backwards in Japanese as their next album. Click for dates and tickets.

Rod Stewart - This is how we’re predicting the Rod Stewart concerts
will go this week. Crowd: "Sing Stay With Me!" Rod: "No, I’m only
singing boring old croony songs!" Crowd: "Bah." All this and Rod’s
daughter Kimberely will attempt to get engaged to and then break up
with every single male in the audience. Click for dates and tickets.