Hecklerspray Apologises To George Michael With Bible-Like Sincerity
September 26th, 2007 at 13:30 by Shawn Lindseth
It has come to our attention that yesterday, according to the interpretations of some, we brazenly insinuated on multiple occasions that George Michael may or may not have contracted AIDS directly or indirectly from a hot sexy gay monkey. We apologise if this lead any of you to believe that George Michael ever had any sex with hot sexy gay monkeys.
hecklerspray has never been in close enough proximity to George Michael to hear him say he'd like to do a hot sexy gay monkey, and even if he did want to he probably wouldn't do an AIDS one. Furthermore, we truly believe that if Michael ever had any occasion to legitimately do a monkey, sexy, gay or any combination thereof, he would only do so responsibly. Also, he'd probably somehow get a monkey tutorial from a circus or something, so as to avoid any unnecessary monkey harm. This tutorial would likely be a three part VHS set also available for cheap from the hecklerspray store in a few months time.
Again, we apologise for this seeming deception, and plan to attend as many gay monkey workshops as it takes for the healing to begin.
This we swear.
Related and recent:
- George Michael Wedding Off After Hedge Fumble
- George Michael: I Bloody Love Gay Cruising, Me
- George Michael In More Car Stupidity Claims
- Drugs Bust Was George Michael’s Stupid Fault As Usual
- George Michael In Another Snoozy Car Drugs Bust
- George Michael Prefers To Remain Curious About His AIDS Possibility
- George Michael: What Drug Problem?
- George Michael To Snooze Around America Quite Soon
September 26th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Did hecklerspray get in trouble?
September 26th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Huh? What’s this about now? Someone threatened to sue your arse because you suggested George Michael contracted AIDS and is into bestiality? What were you trying to say when you wrote that piece anyway? To be honest I also fail to see the point in that satire either.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
See, that’s the problem when you have a writer that tends to waffle endlessly until he inevitably a) raises a dry chuckle; or b) offends someone unintentionally.
Clone Stuart and/or replace Shawn - I usually skip articles by the latter these days.
September 27th, 2007 at 6:31 am
Bloody hell, Stabby, that really hurts.
September 27th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Although Stabby is very, very wrong, I was surprised considering the article. Shawn’s fare usually is more innocuous and strangely funny rather than biting. I really don’t think any change is in order, all I wanted to know was if hecklerspray finally reached that pinnacle of blog journalism where they got in trouble with a celebrity.
September 27th, 2007 at 10:41 am
it’s called hecklerspray geniuses.
I think Stuart is on par (with satire) as Brett Easton Ellis and Jay Mcinerny
I think if Stu wrote a book it would probably be something as insanely funny as Glammorama or Model Behaviour.
Get on it Stu!!! your the funniest heckler on here!!