I know you all might THINK that a lot of horrible things happened in 2017 and that they’re still happening, but you’re actually wrong. Donald Trump is 100% that all this negative shit is fake news, because police brutality, government corruption, bigotry, hate, and all that other shit was abolished in America MONTHS ago.
While Trump himself didn’t achieve this new found peaceful America, another spoiled ass rich white person did. Of course, I’m referring to Kendall Jenner.
It seems like just yesterday that Kendall went out in the streets armed with nothing more than her will and a can of Pepsi, and somehow managed to solve all of America’s problems.
By offering a police officer a Pepsi during an otherwise peaceful protest, Kendall changed the nation. Suddenly we realized what fools like Martin Luther King and Bernie Sanders had been missing: soda.
It actually makes A LOT of sense if you think about it: how can people do shitty things if they’re drinking a Pepsi? THEY CAN’T! You can’t shoot someone if you’re enjoying a refreshing cold soda, and you can’t rape someone who is kind enough to offer you a soda. That’s just not reality.
While the rest of us liberal snowflake assholes are sitting on our asses complaining about the shitty state of the world, Kendall fucking Jenner is out there solving poverty, hunger, racism, sexism, and famine by sharing her love of Pepsi with the world.
I mean, TBH I’m way more of a Coke person, but if someone offered me a free Pepsi I’d probably take it and enjoy it, so I see the reasoning behind Kendall’s method.
So the next time you go to make fun of the Kardashians or Jenners, just remember that the peaceful life you’re living right now would not even be possible if, in 2017, Kendall Jenner hadn’t taken to the streets with a song in her heart and a Pepsi in her hand.