Hecklergigs - New Order @ Newcastle Carling Academy 11/10/06

Old men and rock is a lethal combination like mixing together water and electricity or women and technology. Most of the time, while the old folks are obliviously rocking out, a gang of ASBO-ridden kids will try to slip in and attempt to listen to their hardcore gangsta rap.

Usually, anyone over the age of 40 who decides to perform in front of a crowd are semi-drunk club singers or Phil Collins. But no! Tonight is a different story - we are witnessing a bunch of merry old men who have been rocking out across the world during the eighties, nineties and the noughties. They're pretty much the only respectable of blokes over the age of 40 who still produce  decent music. It’s New Order.

Before arriving at the gig we did expect a good show. Firstly, we forked over 30 quid to see New Order play. And that it ain’t the kind of cash a poor student wants to flutter away. But New Order are an established and well-respected act whose back catalogue is bursting with hits that we all know and love.

Because New Order's career has spanned many a decade, a mixture of the very old, old and young were out in force tonight. With the show having been sold out for months, many people were looking for wankers touts selling tickets at over-inflated prices to get their fix of electro indie pop from the Mancunian four-piece. Annoyingly enough, we were unreliably informed there would be no support act, just a DJ to whip the crowd into a frenzy. Sadly, we arrived to see some band whose name we didn’t catch doing their last number. Probably a good thing really, as they weren’t doing anything exciting - just pounding out some indie anthems whilst a guy on a couple of laptops fiddled with some knobs to produce some bleeps. Maybe their studio stuff is better. 

The problem when world-famous bands like New Order go on tour is that you get the kind of gig-goer attending who haven’t been to many before and are shocked at what they see. It starts off at the bar when they realise that the Carling Academy sell their piss-poor beer for inflated prices in a plastic glass which makes it taste even worse. Secondly, the concept of having your own space in a gig packed to the rafters is not grasped. Amazingly, the odd bump from another person is expected. We had a lovely blonde girl constantly apologising to us all night when her elbow dug in to our ribs. Thirdly, people pissing in cups and throwing them ain’t nice at all. Especially when it cracks you on the back of the head.  

When New Order took to the stage, (15 minutes late as well!) they got one hell of a reception. Mainly because it was their first appearance in this part of the world since the eighties. What they put on was something like a greatest hits show. New Order didn’t actually have anything to promote - no new album is scheduled at all - so the tour is extremely random. But we don’t care. All the hits are played, starting with Crystal. It’s a strong start with the crowd not being given a chance to be eased into the show, it's straight-forward dancing from here on in.

Er… from here the setlist became a bit of a blur, not from too much alcohol but just from the sheer excitement of the gig. One hit after another was played with the leaders of the group Peter Hook and Bernard Sumner prowling the stage and generally getting a buzz of the reaction of the crowd. Peter Hook in particular called the crowds fucking mental, which must be a good thing. Krafty, Bizarre Love Triangle, Whose Joe were just some of the tracks played. Of course the main tracks that New Order are renowned for like Regret and Blue Monday got played. At some points, they could have literally stopped singing. The crowd made it their own. 

Sadly, World In Motion wasn’t on the setlist. Probably because a) England just made a complete fuck-up against Croatia (we mean you Paul Robinson) and weren’t in the mood for football or b) John Barnes suddenly thinks he’s bigger then the band and wouldn’t tour. 

This may sound bizarre but the only gripe of the night came with Joy Division songs being brought out of the woodwork. We did expect to hear Love Will Tear Us Apart - it is one of the best songs ever, after all. But we didn’t pay to see them play songs from a band that finished before they began. About three Joy Division tracks were played which left only the hardcore fans happy. Adding to the fact that Ian Curtis’s vocal was so distinctive, it didn’t feel right having someone else singing on it. It’s kind of like shoving a bloke into Girls Aloud. Well, maybe not. Was it worth 30 quid? Hmmm, kind of as we had a good time, but when you’re a band as big as New Order, you could charge anything and people would still come.

[story by Matthew Laidlow]