Heather Mills Wants NBC Contractually Obligated To Let Her Win A Season Of The Apprentice
For as long as mankind has had any level of self-awareness, we’ve all enjoyed watching one-legged middle aged women flip, twirl, and rhythmically pounce all about.
That’s why even if it had aired ten thousand years ago, that Dancing With The Stars season wherein Heather Mills was featured would have scored real high in the Nielsen ratings. Think of the advertising rates cavemen would have been willing to pay!
Donald Trump, at least momentarily, thought it would be a pretty good idea to have Mills sitting in his Celebrity Apprentice boardroom. We don’t blame him – she’d scuff the carpet 50% less than anyone else, vastly elongating the life of whatever carpet is involved. That’s why Trump’s a millionaire – he thinks about the little things like that.
Ends up though that Mills isn’t welcome on that show. According to rumour, she demanded a contractual stipulation that said if she appeared on the show, she’d be guaranteed a spot in the finale.
America likes to look at Heather Mills, but not for an entire season at a time. Watching her limp around everywhere she goes is enough to make a viewer’s own knees hurt, and that can only lead to a channel change.
On Celebrity Apprentice she would have been tolerable only so long as the competitive tasks included things like protecting baby seals with Paul McCartney’s jagged frozen corpse, and also getting a long drawn out divorce from that same dead body, or those same defended baby seals.
If the team competitions included things like that, Mills would soar to the finale on wings of the purest gold. That’s a metaphor for ‘with great ease.’ It was first made popular with the Mesopotamians, and later caught on well with the Roman culture.
But Donald Trump knows it would be foolish to give Mills such a tremendous advantage over the other contestants. No, she’d be on level playing ground with everyone else – and her chances of going home would be exactly the same as her competitors.
Perhaps that’s why when NBC approached her to be in the coming season, it was reported that she agreed only so long as she was guaranteed to be a finalist.
The Sun says:
“HEATHER MILLS lost a role in the US version of Celebrity Apprentice — after demanding a clause in her contract guaranteeing a place in the final. Mills…was lined up to take part in the reality TV hit…But producers at US network NBC got cold feet when she insisted she appear in the final regardless of her success in the show’s tasks. Producers refused, even though she headed the list of celebrities they wanted for the programme.”
We heard her contract also had a clause to provide her with love, life-long companionship and new leg made from sausage and pig tendons, but the NBC department that usually provides that kind of stuff is booked clean through ’til March.
We didn’t actually hear that.
fucking bitch.
“competitors”, dude. You could also have thrown in a gratuitous “batsh1t crazy”.
Otherwise, i’m with Mith on this one.
She never fails to amaze. I’m hoping tomorrow we’ll have a press release from her stating that this is not the case, and starting a law suit against Trump. Can Paddy Power give me odds on that?
As is usual, Mills believes the rules apply to everyone but her. She will never understand that, unless she’s talking about Paul (which she is legally gagged from doing), no one is interested in her. She acts like she’s a star — the Queen (or Princess Di). She’s not, and finally someone has told her so. So much for America loving Heather Mills, eh? Think she’ll get the message?(<–not likely). She is consumed with what she construes to be her own self importance. And, here she is, formally insisting that Donald Trump illegally “fixes” a show for her. Truly pathetic and sickening. Who the hell does she think she is? Bleeeech!