Heather Mills might be embroiled in a bitter stabby divorce with millionaire Beatle Paul McCartney, but not even that can stop Heather Mills from yammering on about her two biggest loves – dancing for cash and pointing at pigs in crates.

Heather Mills has a lot to talk about at the moment, and there’s a lot we want Heather Mills to talk about – so it’s a shame that the two don’t really overlap at any point. While the majority of the public wants Heather Mills to talk about whether Paul McCartney really did go mental and stab her in the arm with a wineglass before claiming ownership of her breasts or not, Heather Mills seems content to a) carp on about all the spare legs she’ll need for Dancing With The Stars and b) make farmers angry by breaking into their property and pointing at a pig in a crate.