That was a sitcom about an airport. And planes fly from airports. And planes are vehicles. So that counts. More relevantly, though, there was that time in 2008 when Heather Locklear took a load of prescription medication and parked her car in a flood of tears in the middle of a busy highway. And now, just when you thought that things couldn’t get any worse for her, she’s been arrested for a 4am hit and run.
What did Heather Locklear hit with her car? A child? An old lady? A dog? No – it was a No Parking sign. It’s thought that following the arrest Heather Locklear will check into rehab and then publicly apologise to Al Sharpton just in case he turns out to be a leader of the No Parking sign community.
Heather Locklear is currently serving a three-year probation term following the medication-linked highway incident from 2008 that ended with the least flattering mugshot in history. And these three years are vital – Heather Locklear is hanging by a thread, and the smallest of traffic-related incidents could be enough to drop her into a world of trouble. But something as serious as knocking down a No Parking sign at 4am and then not telling the police could see her languishing in jail for the rest of her life, or even being sent to the chair. Or something.
Which is a shame, because UsMagazine reports that knocking down a No Parking sign at 4am and then not telling the police is exactly what Heather Locklear has done:
The?Melrose Place alum, 48 was arrested after knocking into a “no parking” sign on a public street close to her home in a gated-community in Westlake Village, Calif.,?around 4 a.m. Saturday. TMZ?reports she left without notifying police. Police examined debris left at the scene and traced it back to her black 2005 BMW.
According to Heather Locklear’s lawyer, it’s still not certain who was driving the car at 4am on Saturday morning – plus it’s unlikely that prosecutors will file charges against her – so there’s still a good chance that Heather Locklear will end up in the clear. Or, failing that, maybe the lawyer could argue that Heather Locklear was just acting out some of her best-loved scenes, like the moment in TJ Hooker where she tracked down the leader of the evil No Parking signs gang and ran him over to prevent his escape, or the moment in Melrose Place where she ran over a No Parking Sign because it had been sleeping with her boyfriend.
Or the moment in LAX where Heather Locklear realised that she was the star of a short-lived sitcom about a funny airport and drove into a No Parking sign in a hapless attempt to end it all. Look, we’re not lawyers. You think of something, then. Jesus.