Harry Styles Might Be Awkwardly Banging Kendall Jenner

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West need to watch the fuck out, because there is a new hottest couple in the Kardashian household: Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles. I was reluctant to write about these two until it seemed legit, and now after three sitings together (one leaving a hotel in the AM) it’s become clear that these two teenage dreams are rubbing on each other.

It all started a few weeks ago when the above picture was taken of these two sexy teens in a car after having dinner together. Afterwards, when Piers Morgan asked Styles if he was dating Jenner he said “We just went to dinner so no? I don’t know?” Yep, that sounds like awkward teen love to me!

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BUT WAIT! IT GETS BETTER! On  Saturday, December 7th, Harry and Kendall were mobbed by fans (I’m assuming just One Direction loving tweens, because I’m not sure Kendall Jenner has any fans other than me #bloggirlproblems) while exiting a hotel together in New York City. Oh, did I mention they were leaving to get breakfast because it was MORNING?!

That totally implies a sleepover, and unlike his hotel sleepovers with Taylor Swift, which I assume involved doing each other’s hair and re-enacting Cinderlla with her collection of stuffed animals, I assume this got a little sexy. I mean, Kendall is a Kardashian for Christ’s sake! AND she’s already posed topless! I would be legit amazed if they didn’t at least go to third base (are the kids still referring to sex acts as “bases”?)

That night, the couple hit up a club called Therapy, where the theme was “Gays Gone Wild”. I feel like it would be almost tragic and cliche for me to make a joke there…and you know what? I’m better than that (#noimnot #justtoolazytobeclever #kendallandharryforever).

It’s 100% sad how much I enjoy this coupling. The only place you see two teens this sexy get together is in a horror movie. Kendall is my favorite Kardashian sister and Harry is my favorite member of One Direction (yes, I am 27-years-old and favorite a favorite. You think you’re better than me?!) so this is like my own personal teenage dream.

The only person happier about this coupling than me is Kris Jenner, who probably had to make her 99th deal with Satan to make this shit happen (one more deal and she gets a free copy of “Mein Kampf, ” a coupon to see Billy Ray Cyrus’ hairstylist, and front row seats at a Justin Beiber concert!). She’s got one daughter engaged to Kanye and another one dating a member of the biggest boy band in the world?! I can imagine what Kris Jenner is doing right now…

hailsatan

For the record, Kristen Wiig does a better Kris Jenner than Kris Jenner does.

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Comments

  1. nasa1 says

    You are sick there is no way people would have sex in early stages in an early relationship. Also why would he take her to a gay bar if he might be gay himself and also just because she is a Kardashian that doesn’t mean that she does what her sister Kim does okay! And just to make things clear it’s a clear PR stunt by their bosses.

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