Harry Potter Inevitably Rules US Weekend Box Office

Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire isn’t just number one in the US weekend box office chart - Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire has taken far more money than the rest of the US weekend box office combined.

Not that this is any kind of surprise, though - people go so barmy for Harry Potter and any of that wizardy crap, that the thought of going to see a film about Johnny Cash, a chicken or 50 Cent shooting people just seems like an abnormal waste of time. Well, either that or Harry Potter fans are good people who don’t download movies illegally. One or the other.

Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire has taken more money on it’s
opening weekend than War Of The World, Batman Begins, Charlie And The
Chocolate Factory, Mr And Mrs Smith or, um, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed
And Fabulous.

In fact, the new Harry Potter film has been so successful in it’s
opening weekend that JK Rowling now has enough spare change to complete
her dream - sending a small army of winged monkeys to carve her giant,
unsmiling face into the moon so that everyone on Earth has no choice
but to cower under her almighty gaze.

Here’s the full US weekend box office top ten:

1 - Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire (Or the Harry Potter movie
where people begin to verbalise their sexy thoughts about Hermione that
they’ve had since she was 11, the filthy beggers) $101,425,000

2 - Walk The Line (Johnny Cash gets the Ray Charles makeover - it’s
now a matter of time before he crosses the boundary between ‘cool
anti-establishment figure’ and ‘lovable cuddly-wuddly singy man’)
$22,400,000

3 - Chicken Little (Chicken Little? What a rubbish name for a film!
Hey Disney, next time try Chicken Enormous Death Stomp. We’d go and see
that) $14,769,000

4 - Derailed (This week saw Jennifer Aniston finally rehabilitated
as a happy, normal celebrity. Now if only she’d stop making rubbish
films, people could start taking her seriously as an actress) $6,526,000

5 - Zathura (Bless you) $5,100,000

6 - Jarhead (Like American Beauty, only with less wanking. Probably. We haven’t actually seen it) $4,790,000

7 - Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ (Now 50 Cent has conquered the worlds of
film, videogame and book, we can now look forward to the inevitable 50
Cent: The Fairly Boring Boxing Day Board Game) $4,375,000

8 - Saw II (The film equivalent of the boy that bought chopped-off chicken feet to school) $3,900,000

9 - The Legend Of Zorro (Antonio Banderas is now so old that there’s
a scene in the new movie where Zorro settles down for a cup of tea in
front of Deal Or No Deal) $2,300,000

10 - Pride And Prejudice (Americans have been seeing the extended
version of Pride And Prejudice that ends in a five minute tonguey kiss and a
choir of cartoon birds singing Double Dutch by Malcolm McLaren)
$2,112,000

Read more:

Weekend Box Office: November 18-25 - Box Office Mojo

[story by Stuart Heritage]