Halloween Makes ‘Saw II’ Top US Weekend Box Office Chart

Americans are a little slow to realise that Halloween is a pointless holiday. Where’s the fun in dressing up like Harry Potter, listening to a continuous loop of Monster Mash and trying to pull apples out of a bowl of water with your mouth? That’s not fun, that’s rubbish.

But at this time of year, Americans go divvy over anything even remotely scary. And that’s the reason that Saw II - a sequel to an overrated horror film - has not just topped the US weekend box office chart, but it’s taken almost twice as much as that crappy-looking Zorro movie.

Saw II is the sequel to - duh - Saw, a low-budget horror thriller
which, although it didn’t do great shakes at the cinema, gained a huge
following when it was released on DVD. Saw II apparently picked up a
huge audience from DVD viewers which, when combined with the usual
Halloween fright-seeking audience, created an unstoppable movie
phenomenon. Or something. Look, here’s the full US weekend box-office
chart:

1 - Saw II (Now the Saw series is a genuine success, expect to see
various horror/toolbox copyists cropping up in the future, like 8-Inch
Slip Joint Pliers) $30,500,000

2 - The Legend Of Zorro (Antonio Banderas is now so old that during
one scene in this movie, he slashes a ‘Z’ into an enemy’s colostomy
bag) $16,500,000

3 - Prime (Reading the synopsis for Prime, we came across the
following phrases: "recently divorced", "part counsellor, part Jewish
mother", "biological clock", "cultures clash". Then we fell asleep)
$6,395,000

4 - Dreamer: Inspired By A True Story (Dakota Fanning was so
enamoured by the horses she starred in Dreamer with that she bought
them all and had them made into hats. No she didn’t) $6,300,000

5 - Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (The gestation period of a rabbit is around 31 days) $4,400,000

6 - The Weather Man (A film about the evils of weapon-trafficking?
An intelligent film about a middle-aged man coming to terms with his
life? It’s the return of Good Nicolas Cage. But don’t fret: Bad Nicolas
Cage will soon return in the Wicker Man remake) $4,225,000

7 - Doom (The exact opposite of Prime) $4,061,000

8 - North Country (Last time Charlize Theron uglied herself up for a
film, she gained weight, shaved off her eyebrows, coloured her hair,
used
contacts
and dentures to change her appearance completely. This time she made
her face a bit dirty. Her heart’s not really in it any more, is it?)
$3,650,000

9 - The Fog (It’s impossible to say the word "Volvo" over and over
again really fast. That’s got nowt to do with this spooky weather
flick, mind) $3,300,000

10 - Flightplan (Chances are, this’ll be the last week Flightplan
has on the chart. So this is our last chance to take the piss out of
flight attendants. Unless we do it to their faces in the future, of course. And
where’s the fun in that?) $3,600,000

Read more:

Weekend box-office chart - Box-Office Mojo

[story by Stuart Heritage]