This Thanksgiving, actress Halle Berry was very thankful for her badass fiance, Olivier Martinez, particularly after he kicked the sissy ass of her former boyfriend and baby-daddy, Gabriel Aubry.
Unfortunately, the fact that this drama involves a child transforms a situation that would otherwise be pretty awesome, into something ugly. Ideally, the kid could be swapped out for Bruce Willis or at least a bitchy teenager, and then we would be in business.
In short, what supposedly happened is this: Gabriel returned his daughter with Halle to Halle’s L.A. home following a scheduled visit. Olivier approached Gabriel to have a conversation. Gabriel apparently didn’t feel like chatting so he shoved Olivier and tried to punch him in the face … but, like a stud, Olivier diverted the punch. Then Gabriel pushed Olivier to the ground, but Olivier still managed to belt him. They struggled, grappled a bit … it’s all a sort of sexy … and ultimately Olivier pinned Gabriel on the ground and was crowned the winner.
I suspect that it’s not uncommon for frustration over child custody arrangements to boil over into fistfights. Rarely, however, do they involve such painfully gorgeous people. Think about it. Halle Berry has two gorgeous men arguing in heated French in front of her house. The reports do not indicate whether or not they were wearing shirts … it was warm in L.A. yesterday so it isn’t too much of a stretch to imagine that they weren’t.
Afterwards Olivier valiantly placed Gabriel under citizen’s arrest, which is amusing because I didn’t know people actually did that and also because I’m pretty sure he’s not a U.S. citizen. Halle had evidently hustled her daughter inside so she didn’t see her daddy get his ass kicked.
After Gabriel was released from the hospital, where he was treated for a broken rib, bruises on his beautiful model’s face, and possibly an additional head injury, he was taken into police custody and charged with misdemeanor battery. Some reports say that Olivier may have broken his hand and suffered neck injuries, but he was spotted driving later that day, as well as visiting a liquor store early this morning. (He may truly be a man after my own heart.)
Apparently beautiful people can be unreasonable and contentious, just like the rest of us. This run-in follows several years of tension between Halle and Gabriel regarding their daughter. At one point, Halle requested a child endangerment investigation against Gabriel, though she later dropped it.
And earlier this month, Halle was denied an attempt to move with her daughter to France because of the potential damage it could cause to the child’s relationship with Gabriel. It’s unclear if or how the Thanksgiving events will impact those legal decisions, though Gabriel has been hit with an emergency protective order preventing him from being closer than 100 yards to Halle, Olivier, or his daughter.
Though they’re a bit old, hopefully Olivier’s act of bravado excited Halle enough for her to conceive a baby with him, because no child on earth could possibly compare to a combination of those two … except maybe a Jolie-Pitt. Or, I suppose, a combination of Halle and Gabriel.