Halle Berry has fulfilled one of her deepest wishes by becoming pregnant, she announced yesterday – Halle Berry's other deep wish was to star in a film that isn't useless, by the way, but you can't have everything.
According to an email sent to Access Hollywood by Halle Berry herself, Halle Berry and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry are expecting their first child together and, like everyone else, we're thrilled about the news. Now Halle Berry can have the baby she's been only fantasising about for so long, meaning that she can experience the warmth and wonder that a newborn child can bring to a loving family – plus the pregnancy means that filming has been postponed on Halle Berry's new movie Tulia, which means we won't have to sit through two hours of Halle Berry discussing race and drugs and injustice while pulling her serious Oscar-winner face for a lot longer than we originally anticipated.
Professionally, Halle Berry never really lived up to her early promise she showed in The Flintstones movie. Sure, there was her Oscar win for depressing more people than anyone in the history of cinema excluding Requiem For A Dream in Monster's Ball, but Halle's post-Oscar career has been patchy at best, featuring misfires like Catwoman, Gothika and the worst-ever James Bond film. This habit of making bad choices has been reflected in Halle Berry's personal life, too – Halle's already got two divorces behind her – until now.
During the promotion for her last movie Perfect Stranger – don't worry, we didn't see it either – Halle Berry's unusual promotion was twofold. First Halle Berry squatted on a pavement and poked her arse out and then she discussed at length how she wanted a baby and tried to kill herself once. Although this weird promotional tactic didn't make anyone want to see her film – we've already seen a film about internet stalkers, it's called our life – it did wake Halle Berry's boyfriend but never husband Gabriel Aubry up to the fact that he should possibly try having sex with Berry a bit more until she got pregnant.
And that's what we assume has happened, because Halle Berry has announced that she is completely pregnant. Reuters reports:
Halle Berry and her model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry are expecting their first child, the Oscar-winning actress told celebrity TV show "Access Hollywood" on Tuesday. "Yes, I am three months pregnant," Berry wrote in an e-mail to the programme. "Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I've waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next … months will be the longest of my life!"
Six months, Halle, the next six months. Nine minus three is six. Unless, of course, Halle Berry has been impregnated with a lion cub, in which case she's only got about three weeks left until she becomes famous for being the woman who gave birth to a lion. And, while that probably isn't the case, it might be a nice way for Halle to divert her legacy away from all the crappy films she's made.
Just a thought.
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