Back in July when Haley Joel Osment crashed his car, most people assumed that it was because he couldn't see over the steering wheel or, at a push, because the creepy robot teddybear from AI was distracting him with his terrifying voice.
But they were wrong and, as revenge, Haley Joel Osment decided to remind all those people exactly how depressingly old they were all getting; Haley Joel Osment wasn't just old enough to drive a car – he was also old enough to get really off his face on booze and drugs, jump in his car, bomb around really carelessly and then flip it over a roadside mailbox. And yesterday Haley Joel Osment pleaded no contest for exactly that. More or less.
Halley Joel Osment, for a brief moment at the turn of the century, was easily the most annoying child on the planet. Twee and over-sincere in equal measure, Haley Joel Osment was the reason that people started hating kids that could see Spooky Bruce Willis and were friends with Robot Jude Law, as well as being the one of the reasons why hecklerspray crushed its testicles in a kitchen draw after watching Pay It Forward. But, as with all child stars, Haley Joel Osment had to go and rebel.
Now, Halley Joel Osment didn't rebel like former child star Aaron Carter and get engaged to a stripper that used to have sex with his brother a lot, and Haley Joel Osment didn't rebel like former child star Michael Jackson and wander round Bahrain dressed as a woman while wondering how much giraffe blood you'd need to go swimming in. Instead, Haley Joel Osment decided to take Daniel Baldwin's lead and bugger himself up by smashing the arse out of his car.
At the time, nobody knew why Haley Joel Osment had hit a mailbox in LA, flipped his car over, broke a rib and hurt his shoulder. Soon it transpired, though, that Haley Joel Osment was off his mash on booze and drugs at the time. Yesterday Haley Joel Osment's case came up in court, and the weeny boy actor pleaded no contest to one count of driving under the influence of alcohol and one count of possession of marijuana, as People reports:
Osment, 18 was sentenced to 60 hours of alcohol rehab and education. He was also ordered to attend six months of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with a minimum of 26 meetings, and placed him on three years probation. Osment was ordered to pay $1,500 in fines and penalties, according to statement from Jane Robinson, a spokeswoman for the D.A. The actor was not present in court. Instead, his attorney, David Wood, entered the plea on his behalf.
Is that really the best sentence that Haley Joel Osment could have received, though? No doubt that alcohol rehab and compulsory Alcoholics Anonymous meetings will be the best way to stop Haley Joel Osment driving like a twat again, but put yourself in the place of the people that Haley Joel Osment will be attending Alcoholics Anonymous with. Imagine that you've just faced up to a wasted lifetime of alcohol abuse and decided to attend your first-ever Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to try and save your failing marriage, and the first person you see at the meeting hall is the kid from The Sixth Sense. If that didn't send you scurrying back to the warm embrace of gin, nothing would.
[story by Stuart Heritage]