Gwyneth Paltrow Loses Her Mind

Poor Gwyneth Paltrow. She used to be so good at acting. Remember her in Shakespeare In Love  and The Royal Tenembaums  and, um, Shallow Hal? Wonderful.

Then she had a baby and got all crap at it. This isn’t the usual hecklerspray invective at work here - she admits it herself.

Speaking to a bunch of drama students in London, she said "I used to be excellent and then I had a baby and I can’t remember anything."

Hopefully that means she’s forgotten being in Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow. God knows we’re trying as hard as we can to forget paying seven quid at the cinema to see it.

The actress, married to that hopeless whining twat from Coldplay, also revealed what a sensitive wee girly she is, "I
walk into a room and if somebody is in a bad mood or upset I can feel
it. Sometimes it’s helpful in my work but in my life it’s difficult at
times."

Helpful in your work? How sensitive can you really be, Gwynnie? You weren’t sensitive to how rubbish the script to Duets was, were you? If you can’t remember that, let us remind you - it was that ghastly film you made about karaoke with Huey Lewis.

Paltrow’s British accent in films like Sliding Doors and Emma
has won her across the board acclaim. She revealed to the drama
students that she practices for 15 minutes every day to keep it in top
condition. Chances are she just repeats "Arse, nappy, aluminium, gosh" over and over again, though this is unconfirmed.

The new film she made, with her new crackpot memory, is called Running With Scissors, and she plays the daughter of a crazy therapist. Like Dr Raj Persaud, only crazier. And probably better at poker .

Read more of this story at ananova.com

[story by Stuart Heritage]