Gwen Stefani is Never Going to Have the Girl She Wanted


Gwen Stefani is hands down one of the girliest chicks in music. She loves clothes, make up, shoes, you know, all that stuff that Kristen Stewart doesn’t like. But like the majorly feminine and fashionable Victoria Beckham before her, Gwen seems to only be popping out boys.

A few years ago, Victoria finally popped out a girl and all was well in the world. She finally had someone to hand down all her shoes, clothes, and accessories to. When Gwen Stefani got preggo for the third time, everyone thought this would be the chance to have a little girl, but today we found out that Gwen will probably never get that little girl since the kid growing in her womb totally has a penis.

Gwen is 44-years-old now (wrap your head around this, if Gwen Stefani had a baby in her senior year of high school…which we all know happens…her kid would be the same age as Lady Gaga. That’s right. Gwen Stefani is technically old enough to be Lady Gaga’s mom. Go look at pictures of the two of them side by side and let that mind fuck you), so there is a pretty good chance that this will be her last kid (biologically anyway). Gwen posted this picture on Instagram today:


Along with the somewhat bummed out caption:

I was ready to hand over the crown. but I guess I am still queen of the house. #itsaboy #surroundedbyboys

All her band mates are dudes, her husband is a dude, she has a brother (no sister), and now all her kids are dudes. Gwen Stefani is like a porn star in a bukakke scene: overwhelmed with dicks.

Seems like the closest Gwen will ever come to having a daughter is by being a step-mom to sexy husband Gavin Rossdale’s sexy love child, Daisy Lowe. Poor Gwen, she’ll never get the daughter she always wanted, but at least she’s got an extremely hot husband, adorable children, ageless beauty, and incredible fashion sense, and a respected career. Actually, you know what? Fuck that bitch.