At hecklerspray, we know we’re down on a lot of celebrities. That’s mainly because they talk a lot of bum, and so they deserve it.

But theres one thing that makes us feel warm and fuzzy – when a famous person learns from their mistakes. Progress is not a dirty word, you see.

So the news that Guy Ritchie has probably dropped all trace of Madonna from his latest movie is a very good sign.

Madonna has made some bearable films bad and some bad films terrible. And Guy Ritchie has just made unbearably bad films.

The Material Girl has made some stinkers of movies in the last
twenty years. Back in the mid-80s, when she was the latest
bubblegum-chewing disposable pop star, she starred in a few disposable
popcorn movies, such as ‘Who’s That Girl’, ‘Shanghai Surprise’ and ‘Desperately Seeking Susan’. None of them did very well.

Unshaken by this obvious lack of enthusiasm, she continued to try
and establish herself as an actress. The nadir of this period was
probably 1993′s ‘Body Of Evidence’ – a ‘Basic Instinct’ rip-off with an even more confusing plot.

Then came an upward streak. She was critically acclaimed in ‘Evita’, and managed to make a decent hash of a rom-com with ‘The Next Best Thing’.

The world’s poshest cockerney sparrah Guy Ritchie made ‘Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels’,
and therefore is responsible for a bad movie (plus the thousands of
imitators it spawned), an awful TV show and the film career of Vinnie Jones.

He then remade Lock Stock and called it Snatch, much to the same success.

Then cupid struck Madonna and Guy, and they settled down to a life of saying "gor blimey",
drinking warm pints of bitter, racing whippets and dressing up as
Chelsea Pensioners. But soon, they decided to make a movie together.
That movie was the infamous ‘Swept Away’.

This was the film that was described by Newsday as being so bad that "new ways of describing badness need to be invented to describe exactly how bad it is".
The story was badly plotted, characters unlikeable, the acting terrible
and Madonna looked really old in it. It was not given a UK cinema
release.

Now, with both husband and wife enthralled by Kabbalah – at least
until someone finds a more obscure religion – Ritchie has made ‘Revolver’, another crime caper. But it’s unclear if it will be much cop or not.

On the downside, it’s had trouble finding distribution, and Guy’s told msnbc that it was "inspired by God". Uh-oh.

On the other hand, it’s being produced by Luc Besson – who is usually very good – and best of all: Madonna’s not in it! Ritchie cut her scenes because "Guy did not want Madonna’s kiss of death on his latest movie, or perhaps he just decided the scene wasn’t quite right".

Let’s hope progress has been made. Or else Guy’ll be in some proper Barney Rubble.

Discover Madonna’s ‘kiss of death’ on these great movies!

[story by Stuart Heritage]