It goes without saying that alcoholism can destroy lives and isn’t funny in the slightest – unless of course we’re talking about David Hasselhoff’s alcoholism and inability to eat hamburgers off the floor, because that sort of is quite funny.

But David Hasselhoff getting so drunk that he needed to be hospitalised a few months after promising his daughters that he’d never drink again? OK, we’ll admit that’s significantly less funny, which is a shame because that’s what happened yesterday when recovering alcoholic David Hasselhoff relapsed and wound up in hospital. Damn David Hasselhoff all the way to hell, not because he’s shown a scant disregard for the well-being of his children by hitting the bottle again, but because, from what we hear, David Hasselhoff’s relapse didn’t occur while he was stroking a kitten and/or wearing nothing more than a pair of speedos and a leather jacket. As we all know, that makes it quite hard to make jokes out of his situation.