Guess What? David Hasselhoff’s Drunk Again

It goes without saying that alcoholism can destroy lives and isn't funny in the slightest - unless of course we're talking about David Hasselhoff's alcoholism and inability to eat hamburgers off the floor, because that sort of is quite funny.

But David Hasselhoff getting so drunk that he needed to be hospitalised a few months after promising his daughters that he'd never drink again? OK, we'll admit that's significantly less funny, which is a shame because that's what happened yesterday when recovering alcoholic David Hasselhoff relapsed and wound up in hospital. Damn David Hasselhoff all the way to hell, not because he's shown a scant disregard for the well-being of his children by hitting the bottle again, but because, from what we hear, David Hasselhoff's relapse didn't occur while he was stroking a kitten and/or wearing nothing more than a pair of speedos and a leather jacket. As we all know, that makes it quite hard to make jokes out of his situation.

David Hasselhoff might be a man blessed with such superhuman charisma that women hurl themselves out of windows just because he's there and dead members of the royal family want to have sex with him in his own head, but we're starting to get the impression that David Hasselhoff might not be such a fun drunk. 

We can't put our finger on the reason why, either. Maybe it's got something to do with that drunken fight David Hasselhoff had at Wimbledon, or the time he staggered teary-eyed around an airport one morning wearing urine-stained trousers, or the way he apparently beat up his ex-wife and told 911 his daughter was committing suicide when she wasn't. Or the whole topless David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger drunk thing. But whatever the reason for our hypothesis, you'd have thought that David Hasselhoff would have learnt from his multiple public humiliations enough to keep off the booze in future, wouldn't you?

But that's where you'd be wrong, because David Hasselhoff fell off the wagon yesterday and ended up in hospital, possibly because he was rehearsing all of the above for that Ryan Seacrest comedy show he's working on. E! Online reports:

David Hasselhoff's publicist confirmed that the former Baywatch star was hospitalized Tuesday after falling off the wagon. "David had a brief relapse and immediately recognized the importance of addressing it with the assistance of his doctors," his rep Judy Katz said in a statement to tmz.com. "He is doing fine and will be back home in the morning." Time will tell whether Hasselhoff's relapse affects the existing custody arrangement. A mediation hearing is scheduled for Thursday.

What on earth could have caused David Hasselhoff's tragic relapse? Was it the fact that talk of the David Hasselhoff musical has died down? The dawning realisation that his song Flying On The Wings Of Tenderness wasn't the sole reason for the collapse of the Berlin Wall? Nobody knows for sure. Let's check E! Online again for clues about what he was doing immediately before his alcoholic relapse:

…Hasselhoff, who won primary physical custody of his two teenage daughters in June, has been in Europe for the past month filming Anaconda 3…

Ohhhhhhh.

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David Hasselhoff Relapses, Hospitalized - E! Online