It doesn’t really matter who wins what at tomorrow’s Grammys, so long as a handful of long-simmering rivalries get torn wide open in as entertaining a way as possible. And things are looking good – it’s being reported that Madonna and Mariah Carey are already at each other’s throats over who gets to sing first. Brilliant.
Remember Live 8? Both Madonna and Mariah Carey (CDs) performed that day
and, in their own ways, both tried to outdo each other. Madonna’s
opening volley – holding a confused African’s hand and saying
"motherfucker," before singing the same line of a song over and over
again – was generally thought to have outdone Mariah’s later effort –
getting loads of little Africans on the stage and then complaining
endlessly about mic stands and being thirsty. And Mariah, if reports are to be believed,
is still smarting.
But – Mariah being Mariah – she had a cunning plan to upstage her
old rival at the Grammys; she wanted to open the show with an immense,
choir-backed version of her hit single We Belong Together. After all,
she must have thought, she is up for eight awards. This is her year.
Beat that, Madonna.
So Madonna did – she decided that she wanted to open the Grammys herself, by doing a duet with some mockney cartoons.
Tough choice – a self-obsessed harpy endlessly wailing like Michael J
Fox trying to operate a theremin, or a pensionable woman wearing a
piece of dental floss singing a song with the wannabe Alvin & The Chipmunks?
Eventually, the producers of the Grammys settled on Madonna and
Gorillaz to open the show – and Mariah is apparently totally pissed.
Let’s cross our fingers for a Jarvis Cocker-style stage invasion by
Carey during Madonna’s performance tomorrow night.
[story by Stuart Heritage]