Grammys Eulogise Michael Jackson In Three Glorious Dimensions

by Stuart Heritage on February 1, 2010 4 Comments

Missed the Grammys last night? You didn’t miss a lot. Beyonce won everything. Lady Gaga wore some funny clothes.

It went on forever. You know, the usual. However, since last night marked the first Grammy awards since Michael Jackson died – or since Michael Jackson started making money for the music industry again, if that’s how you’d prefer to look at it – viewers were treated to an extravagant all-star 3D rendition of Earth Song designed to pay tribute to the man.

It had something for everyone – Michael Jackson fans could tearfully witness their hero get the acknowledgement he deserved, while people who weren’t Michael Jackson fans could simply soak in the depth of field and heavy-handed environmental message and pretend that they were watching a new version of Avatar, albeit one with funnier-looking aliens.

Although last night’s Grammys were just as tedious and formulaic as they usually are, they did hold a few surprises. For instance, Taylor Swift won some prizes – which wouldn’t be surprising to anybody following the music industry this year, but probably would be to anyone with ears – and Rihanna made it all the way to the ceremony without being beaten up by a big-toothed nimrod this year.

But, for many, the highlight of the Grammys was the big 3D Michael Jackson tribute. True, the tribute did only really consist of a girl blowing a dandelion at the screen while Celine Dion warbled some of Earth Song with a look on her face that suggested she was simultaneously exercising her pelvic floor. But considering how harrowing it could have been – imagine if they’d chosen to show a giant, rotating 3D close-up of late-period Michael Jackson’s hollow, taped-together face instead – let’s just agree that we got off lightly. ABC reports:

It was introduced by Lionel Richie, who said the performance was meant by Jackson as a call to action against the destruction of Nature and animals by humans. The performance began with footage of waterfalls and rain forests with Jackson heard declaring, “I respect the secrets and magic of Nature”… Viewers without glasses saw slightly offset red and greenish images. Not so captivating.

But although you could accuse the Grammys of favouring empty gimmickry over any form of sincere emotion, the 3D Michael Jackson tribute was a success in one important respect. Without it, we would have never got to play the game Which Celebrity Looks The Silliest When They Try To Pull A Sad Face In A Pair Of Shitty Cardboard 3D Glasses. Truly, that’s a game for the ages. And Will.i.am, if you’re reading, congratulations. You walked it.

But anyway, the 3D film that accompanied the performance was set to be an important part of Michael Jackson’s comeback shows in London. So this was the closest that Michael Jackson fans will ever get to that experience. And that’s how it’ll remain, at least until technology reaches a point where it can realistically mimic the thrill of being guilted into paying over the odds for a crappy Michael Jackson tour T-shirt in a plastic dome on a windy evening in Greenwich. One day, fans, one day.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Bruce February 1, 2010 at 8:12 pm

Well, for someone who hates Michael Jackson so bloody much, you do seem to have a heck of a lot to say about him…

This is becoming ridiculous. Sarcasm is only funny when it’s on point.

I’m aware that being unnecessarily nasty pays good money in the media these days, but seriously, let it go. You’re just embarrassing yourself with every single entry you write.

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meg February 2, 2010 at 5:01 pm

exactly, what is the point of disrespecting someone who has passes like this. it’s pathetic.

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halo February 2, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Bruce,
Not to seem out of line, but don’t you find it the teeniest bit disingenuous that last year NONE of those people faking “sad” faces wanted anything to do with Michael Jackson?

At least the ‘Spray keeps it real. They don’t PRETEND to care and respect the man now that he’s dead. They would have written the same/similar article if he had been alive and performed. Similar snark, different content.

Your main complaint should be all the (hollywood)phonies who only climbed out of the woodwork once the guy was gone. And cried big crocodile tears when he dies but 6 months ago, wouldn’t return the man’s phone call. And all the rest who came to watch the train wreck.

I think you are simply directing your anger at the wrong party.

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Sofia July 31, 2010 at 9:35 am

It’s unbelievable how cynical and heartless these writers are. They are so confused that they are unable to just FEEL. Earth Song is an amazing song. Period. Jackson was able to verbalize in a simple but poetic way the need for unity in different levels – including unity of religions!!! So this song has certain secrets nobody even mentions. The performance of Earth Song at the Grammys stole the show for obvious reasons, and thank God most people around the world have a heart. Only these writers and other intellectuals don’t get it. Because they mentalize it and they lack heart. I am sorry for them. I was never an MJ fan, but I recently took a look at his work and surprised me immensely. He was something else and I am so glad many are finally acknowledging this contemporary genius.

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