Gordon Ramsay is a man with three distinct television personalities – there's the angry Hell's Kitchen Gordon Ramsay, the angry yet helpful Kitchen Nightmares Gordon Ramsay and the angry yet rubbish and confusing F-Word Gordon Ramsay.
Of these, it's not difficult to see that the least unbearable version of Gordon Ramsay is the Kitchen Nightmares persona. It's where, instead of shouting at estate agents for not being able to cook and then drinking a load of pig blood and then killing a sheep, Gordon Ramsay shouts at chefs who can't cook in an effort to save their failing businesses. However, Kitchen Nightmares is the show that gives Gordon Ramsay the most headaches – not least because chefs like Martin R Hyde of New York keep suing him for apparently faking scenes and hiring in actors to pose as customers. When questioned about the lawsuit, Gordon Ramsay barked "Uh? Yes? Uh? Yes? Uh? Yes?" like a stuck record for 12 hours straight until his brain exploded. Or maybe we dreamt that bit.
There's no doubting that Gordon Ramsay is one of the best chefs around – you don't get as many Michelin stars as he's got just by being a cartoonishly bumptious git with a face like a dried-up bollock – but, goodness, is Gordon Ramsay ever an attention whore. Gordon's F-Word show is full of so many ridiculous headline-grabbing stunts – like telling people to eat horses or making Cheryl Cole slag off Lily Allen – that we wouldn't be surprised if next week he makes a tasty lemongrass risotto garnished with a selection of baby penises arranged in the shape of Gordon Ramsay raping your mum in her bottom at knifepoint.
Gordon Ramsay fares slightly better with Hell's Kitchen, though even then we suspect that he's just playing up to his TV's scariest celebrity persona – but it's Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsay goes the furthest to redeem himself.
Stripped of all the bluster that comes when Gordon Ramsay trots around his own kitchen bawling obscenities at keen enthusiasts just because he can cook your dinner quite well, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is actually a comparatively intelligent programme – part cookery show, part common sense business lecture and part warning to never eat in certain restaurants because the chefs are incompetent, the owners are arseholes and the food will make you ill. And Gordon Ramsay is the perfect man to give advice about failing restaurants because it's claimed that his restaurant in New York is losing £10,000 a week.
Strangely enough, the managers of restaurants that Gordon Ramsay visited for the upcoming new season of American Kitchen Nightmares didn't quite realise that having their failing businesses pulled to pieces by an angry chef and then seeing the results broadcast to the world might not be good for custom. Managers like Martin R Hyde of the Dillons Indian-American restaurant in Manhattan, who has filed a lawsuit against Gordon Ramsay claiming that Ramsay faked scenes for the show. The Independent reports:
Mr Hyde's lawsuit, filed in the US District Court, claims Ramsay staged events – falsely claiming meat was spoilt, using a defective chair to imply that Dillons' furniture was shoddy and even hiring actors to pose as customers to make the restaurant look busy at the end of the week. The suit also carries Mr Hyde's claim that Ramsay humiliated him so much that he was forced to quit to avoid further abuse.
Leaving aside the fact that the lawsuit is a perfect tool for Gordon Ramsay to promote the American Kitchen Nightmares show, Hyde should realise that Gordon has faced – and beat – accusations like these in the past. A year ago Gordon Ramsay won £75,000 in libel damages from The Evening Standard after a columnist claimed that Ramsay had fabricated events to make a restaurant look worse than it actually was. Whether or not Martin R Hyde will be more successful remains to be seen.
Still, as much as we think that Gordon Ramsay is essentially a foul-mouthed overbearing dinner lady, we'd quite like him to win this lawsuit. Not because of any allegiance we have with him, but because – if he loses – Gordon Ramsay might decide to make another series of F-Word to try and top his bank balance back up. And that's just like a punishment for everyone, really.
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flierpa says
“a tasty lemongrass risotto garnished with a selection of baby penises arranged in the shape of Gordon Ramsay raping your mum in her bottom at knifepoint”
bwahahahahahaha i think i just died laughing
Viking Lumberjack says
Is it just me, or does that picture of Gordon look like Harrison Scissorhands?
Admittedly, the risotto DOES sound pretty good. We’ll have to order that for the next office luncheon, but only if the baby penises can be ordered medium-rare.
Wadey says
Every episode of Kitchen Nightmares is
A This kitchen is dirty and the chef is a wxxxxx
B The menu is too complicated
C No one knows where it is
D Clean up kitchen, teach chef to cook, simplify the menu and advertise.
The whole thing is a straight copy of a previous series on Chanel 4 (UK)
Despite all of this Gordon has made pots of money from being a cook so good luck to him.
PS Are Michelin tyres any good ? He never shows them on the telly.
PPS My eating out treat is a McDonalds Fillet O Fish, large fries and a choccy milkshake. Beat that if you can Gordon
ftjmsc says
I love Gordon Ramsey. He doesn’t take any crap. This article was really disappointing, but I won’t waste my time explaining because it really isn’t worth it.
bill says
I agree with ftjmsc. He makes a million different shows so he puts sheep testicles in sometimes to make it more intersting, big fucking deal. You can’t rant about him just because he’s loaded, and the characters alone in the kitchen nightmares series are brilliant, nevermind the repetitive issues with cleaning and menu size etc which are unavoidable.
Whoever wrote the above(ist) doesn’t like gordon ramsay, he has a great personality which isn’t an act. I’m a vegetarian, he hates vegetarians, but i love him. As outspoken as jeremy clarkson. Next you’ll be saying that mozart was a slave to fashion who only wrote his music to please a bunch of pompus wind-bags in order to aquire wealth and status……………..oh still some fucking tunes though, uh?
Matt says
Ridiculous article. Gordon has achieved more in his life than most people would achieve in ten lifetimes. So what if he swears? Get over it – they are merely words and you can choose to be not offended. If it really “hurts” then turn the channel over.
Soleil says
Indeed, Gordon Ramsay has achieved far more than the avergae and above average person would in many lifetimes. And Mr. Ramsay did it by working very very hard.
As to the swearing and supposed “garnishes” for the show… obviously the people and writers horrified by this are simply not at all familiar with a professional kitchen. Imagine working in a 100 square foot, windowless space with at least 20 other people (with equally or worse than neurotic personalities than you); at temperatures not lower than 98F (and easily over 100F); having hundreds of bosses to please every night; having your duties barked at you in something more terse than Morse code, and completing these duties in a matter of seconds with no time to breathe or pause; having NO sick leaves available; having NO holidays or time to see your boy/girlfriend and family; having to slave away at times of the year when everyone else is having a jolly good time in the resto…. Swearing is the least you can do to release stress.
And Mr. Ramsay’s findings as to the restos in his show: menu too complicated, chef is lazy, manager is inept… these really are the most common problems that plague restos all over the world all the time. One would think that these restos already learned from other’s mistakes. But no, or course not. Each resto owner thinks s/he is doing it better than everyone else. Until the resto fails, of course. So if the formula seems repetitive, it is not because Mr. Ramsay contrived it to be. It is simply because, those points really make up the recipe for failure.
Mr. Ramsay is humble enough to admit when he has failed, like in the case of his resto in his very own hometown. And if pros can fail at times, what more for amateurs? In this regard, Mr. Ramsay’s advice to the featured restos is actually giving those establishments a free MBA consultation. If lazy bits like Mr. Hyde can’t handle it, then he had no right to be in the resto biz (or any biz for that matter) in the first place. Mr. Hyde’s lawsuit is clearly another one of his schems to get big money without doing any real work.
Carol Collett says
After rearing lambs, with his children, he televises their slaughtering !!! I just CANNOT understand his mentality ! It takes some kind of bastard to do this !!! He told his children Charlotte was killed by a cat – did he tell them he killed the others ?
I will NEVER EVER again watch ANY Ramsay programmes !!!!!!!!!!!
BASTARD !
annie says
Ramsey raised pigs lambs and turkeys in his backyard specifically so his kids whould know where their food came frm. He does not taje them to the slaughter, but he does tell them the truth. Charlotte tha lamb was killed by an animal a cat perhaps becausse of the condition of the body. Which is what he told the kids. I grew up on a farm and I think he is absolutely right!
Rupert says
If you dont like him or his shows, then turn the channel you dumb asses. No one is making you watch.
Jess says
whoever wrote this.. This person seriously hates gordon.. And I’m pretty sure this person listens to the rap music which contains so many F-words and violent languages.. The writer might argue with me on this cuz yeh.. in rap music.. people think it’s allowed to swear alot, and it’s cool as well. Well, i think that’s a huge BS..
And yeh.. obviously.. that Martin guy was just a hopeless loser.. And I’m so shocked how the writer coudn’t see it. And yeh.. the writer is keep going about Gordon Ramsay’s language problem.. and I wonder.. if the writer swears or not.. Well.. it’s alright. The writer can talk badly about one celeb..Even though Gordon doesn’t give a rat about this article. This article is so personal that almost looks strange.. Where’s the middle? Can you be more neutralized?.. So funny I swear. This article isn’t about Gordon being sued. Its about his mouth. Make up your mind for god’s sake. Did you want to talk about his bad mouth or he being sued? Again, so funny. Rubbish.
English isn’t my first language, but I can see this post is pretty crappy.
Dani says
I’m pretty sure this episode of Bear Swamp Recovery titled ‘A Rock Solid Start’ I’m watching right now has the same “Martin Hyde” playing a manager of a rock quarry in Jersey as a “Mr. Horsely” BELIEVE NOTHING lol