Uma Thurman has split up with her fiance Arpad Busson. Chances are you’re wondering who to feel most sorry for.
Should it be Uma Thurman? After all, this split means that she now has two failed marriages and one failed engagement behind her, which can’t be pleasant. Or should it be Arpad Busson, on the basis that he’s let another beautiful celebrity slip through his fingers?
No. You should feel more sorry for us. After all, now that she doesn’t have a multimillionaire hotelier to lean on, Uma Thurman is going to have to fend for herself financially. And you know what that means? My Super Ex-Girlfriend 2, that’s what it means. We’ve got the bum deal here.
You know what Uma Thurman’s problem is? She’s picky. It doesn’t matter if you’re Gary Oldman or Ethan Hawke – at some point, Uma Thurman is going to fall out of love with you Yoy can’t even win her over with crudely-rendered cartoons of yourself walking along the edge of a razor blade, while she – wearing a wedding dress – digs your grave and says “Tee hee.” Which is weird, because we always assumed that one was a banker.
And now Uma Thurman can add another notch to her list of romantic failures – it has been announced that she is no longer engaged to millionaire hotelier Arpad Busson. You might remember that Uma and Arpad got engaged last summer – he off the back of a failed engagement to Elle McPherson, she off the back of a lunatic stalker who kept sending her pictures of decapitated brides – and everything seem to be going wonderfully. So what went wrong? SMH reports:
A source said: “The engagement ended awhile back – almost two months ago.” The couple had a small argument which led to the American actress suggesting the engagement should be broken off, without really meaning it. Uma then walked out “in a huff” but the spat caused the businessman to rethink their future together and he called time on their relationship.
This is bound to be an upsetting time for her, but Uma Thurman has been through enough romantic disentanglements to know that the best coping strategy is to get straight back on the horse. Which might explain rumours that she’s currently dating her new co-star Robert Pattinson.
The rumours are all ridiculous, of course – not because of the 16-year age difference, or because Uma Thurman and Robert Pattinson have yet to speak or be in the same room together, but because Robert Pattinson stinks like a pair of shitty knickers that have been sewn up, filled with tripe and stuck behind a radiator in a natural gas refinery. Any fool can see that.
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