Glenn Beck Is Muse’s Biggest Fan, Which Means That Muse Fans Are All Mental

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We’ve had our run-ins with Muse fans on countless occasions in the past. We were all set to apologise to them this morning… then we found out that Muse are just desperately unlucky with the fans they attract. Every single one of them are absolutely mental.

And the tenuous proof? Well, one of Muse’s biggest fans is Glenn Beck. That means, if you like Muse, you’re a right-wing nutjob.

So Muse fans, feel free to confess that you agree with Beck by saying that you’re “thinking about killing Michael Moore” or that you believe Barack Obama is “a racist” and has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”.

That’s right kids! When Glenn Beck listens to Muse, the words of Matt Bellamy really speak to him. Beck understands that “Muse are English Libertarians” (whatever that means) and really identifies with the message of the group. So when he says things like…

“When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.”

…he may well have been inspired by Muse! That’s great isn’t it?

And now, Glenn Beck wants to weep uncontrollably about how great Muse were when they played ‘Uprising’ at the Grammy Awards.

In Beck’s eyes, the song is…

“a call for revolution”

As all Muse fans will agree, Beck has noted that Europeans have had it bad for a long time.

“Europeans have been degraded for a very long time. Really, since the beginning of time. They have had very few glimpses of real freedom.”

So he loved the fact that Muse were rallying against the machinery of the Western World! A world that, in Beck’s sobbing, damp eyes (and therefore, every Muse fan on the planet), is filled with pesky do-gooders bleating on about global warming (something Muse must agree with, what with them flying around in jet planes all the time and putting on stage-shows that are so large that they are actually powered by the tears of polar bears watching their natural habitat melt away beneath their feet, at a rate of one square mile per guitar solo).

And while some of you Muse fans may be tickled at the notion of these two seemingly disparate camps having anything in common, you have to admit, Muse fans, Muse themselves and Glenn Beck all share a fondness for stirring up stories about supposed apocalyptic futures, eh?

Have a listen to Beck wanking-off over the band and blurting everywhere about how much he loves the imagery of Muse’s songs.

Maybe Matt Bellamy is going to call his baby with Kate Hudson ‘Little Glenn’?

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Comments

  1. Allison says

    Oh dear, seeing the words ‘hecklerspray’ and ‘Muse’ in the same sentence always makes me cringe. You know it’s going to be one big messy trainwreck of an artlicle but you come to watch anyway, just out of morbid fascination.

    Anyway, well done for being the only one of about a hundred articles on this story to get things totally wrong and fail to pick up on the fact that (a) Muse have disassociated themselves from Glen Beck’s patronage and (b) Glen Beck was actually criticising muse’s Grammy performance because it appeared to promote revolution as opposed to restoration.

    Is it me, or does this website have an unhealthy obsession with Muse? I guess it doesn’t matter how good you are, and how great your fanbase is in the main, you’re going to attract the attention of a fair number of crackpots.

  2. Joe says

    Quite funny article :)
    I consider myself a Muse fan and I truly hate Glenn Beck (obviously) but even if Glenn Beck DID like Muse, I really wouldn’t mind.

  3. arlatera says

    Does Hecklerspray not employ editors? A little proofreading goes a long way!

    re: “Every single on of them are…” Ugh!!

  4. reader of article says

    Why do you continue to write this stuff. The only people that read these are Muse fans. Do you really think that one of your articles will change our minds.

  5. gilbert wham says

    Presumably, because it continues to make Muse fans cross. The MJ fans sort of slipped away for a while; I remember at least 2 or 3 articles with no wackos in the comments – although they’ve made a splendid comeback recently. Muse fans continue to get inordinately cross all the fucking time, ergo you continue to be poked with a stick. And Mof continues to spell things badly. It’s like the circle of life.
    If we can get some Glenn Beck fans in here, it would achieve absolute perfection. I can’t wait.

  6. disgruntledtater says

    The main problem with Muse fans (I’m one of them) is that there is no middle ground. To be a Muse fan is to completely worship the music that those 3 produce. Apocalypse Please is the song we will listen to when the world ends. Uprising is the song we listen to when we want change. Knights of Cydonia is the song we listen to when no one will take us alive

  7. says

    “And the tenuous proof? Well, one of Muse’s biggest fans is Glenn Beck. That means, if you like Muse, you’re a right-wing nutjob.”

    THE LOGIC OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD

  8. says

    Glenn Beck is a DOLT! He would actually be on a REAL NEW’S program if he were any good. He talk’s the talk, putting people down IE: MICHAEL MOORE, BARACK OBAMA, HIS FAMILY & ANYONE ELSE, WHO ISN’T A WHITE FREE MASON wanting to dictate the world. If the guy ever wanted any pussy, he’d have to pet his cat!!! (or maybe SARAH PALIN) HE’S A DISGRACE TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, & SHOULD BE THROWN IN JAIL FOR TREASON FOR ALL THE HORSE SHIT HE SLING’S ABOUT THE PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A. & FOR HATE CRIME’S TO WHICH IS A FELONY NOW!!! He need’s to SHUT UP OR PUT UP!!!!

  9. Paul says

    Chris, Try looking up ‘Tenuous’ in the dictionary, I believe Mof made the point you made far more concisely (i.e. by using one word)

    Oh, and I’m neither a Muse fan or a Muse hater.

  10. K. L. says

    Probably because Muse fans continue to read and comment on the articles in spite of knowing they’re probably not going to like what it says.

    For us sane people,who either aren’t on a side of this internet war or don’t care either way, this is a nice form of stability. We know hecklerspray will insult Muse and we know Muse’s more crazed fanbase will swarm in with it’s caps lock and abuse of puncuation to defend their honor. Plus neither party will ever disappoint us by ceasing. It’s good to have something to count on.

  11. Musefan77 says

    My god, the author of this article is one of the thickest people I ever seen. Just because Glenn Beck the nutcase, is a Muse fan, it does not make every single fan of the band on the planet a nutter. I do not believe that Obama is some crazy idiot who hates white people at all. And you call Beck “Muse’s biggest fan.” Really?! what proof do you have of that? does he know all their songs and everything about them? I don’t think so. These articles are doing you no favours, the majority of what you write is total bullshit, it makes no sense and you are completely wrong. I am not as mad as Glenn Beck and I am a proud Muse fan as they are the best band in the world.
    THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

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