We’ve had our run-ins with Muse fans on countless occasions in the past. We were all set to apologise to them this morning… then we found out that Muse are just desperately unlucky with the fans they attract. Every single one of them are absolutely mental.
And the tenuous proof? Well, one of Muse’s biggest fans is Glenn Beck. That means, if you like Muse, you’re a right-wing nutjob.
So Muse fans, feel free to confess that you agree with Beck by saying that you’re “thinking about killing Michael Moore” or that you believe Barack Obama is “a racist” and has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”.
That’s right kids! When Glenn Beck listens to Muse, the words of Matt Bellamy really speak to him. Beck understands that “Muse are English Libertarians” (whatever that means) and really identifies with the message of the group. So when he says things like…
“When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.”
…he may well have been inspired by Muse! That’s great isn’t it?
And now, Glenn Beck wants to weep uncontrollably about how great Muse were when they played ‘Uprising’ at the Grammy Awards.
In Beck’s eyes, the song is…
“a call for revolution”
As all Muse fans will agree, Beck has noted that Europeans have had it bad for a long time.
“Europeans have been degraded for a very long time. Really, since the beginning of time. They have had very few glimpses of real freedom.”
So he loved the fact that Muse were rallying against the machinery of the Western World! A world that, in Beck’s sobbing, damp eyes (and therefore, every Muse fan on the planet), is filled with pesky do-gooders bleating on about global warming (something Muse must agree with, what with them flying around in jet planes all the time and putting on stage-shows that are so large that they are actually powered by the tears of polar bears watching their natural habitat melt away beneath their feet, at a rate of one square mile per guitar solo).
And while some of you Muse fans may be tickled at the notion of these two seemingly disparate camps having anything in common, you have to admit, Muse fans, Muse themselves and Glenn Beck all share a fondness for stirring up stories about supposed apocalyptic futures, eh?
Have a listen to Beck wanking-off over the band and blurting everywhere about how much he loves the imagery of Muse’s songs.
Maybe Matt Bellamy is going to call his baby with Kate Hudson ‘Little Glenn’?