Glastonbury Festival Shocked By Interpol Antics

Festivalgoers were stunned this weekend as another Glastonbury went into the history books as one of the muddiest of all time. However the mud was a mere distraction compared to the shocking scenes witnessed during Interpol’s performance.

Interpol (CDs) took to the stage like pros, having released a second (worse) record recently, although many in the audience were concerned at the bass player’s regalia which was somewhere between fascist and SS. "It was the armband that did it," said expert #1.

Famed for calling the subway a ‘porno’ in one of their songs, the band belted out a combination of old and new tunes. It was "a lot of fun, if hardly mesmerising" according to expert #2.

But then the incident happened. To the amazement of all watching the stage the lead singer smiled.

He smiled. The darkest voice in chiming indie pop beamed at his fellow bandmembers. Praise be.

In their words:

"I could not believe it. He actually looked at the guitar player and grinned. As if he was enjoying himself." - Emily Ross, 18, from Manchester.

"I nearly shat myself." - Bob Todd, Brighton.

"Only the re-emergence of Diana herself would have trumped that moment in from of that crowd. Brilliant. Grinningly so." - ‘Darth Vader’ (yeah, sure you are mate - Ed)

"Fuckin A wonnit?" - Barney, Manchester

"Even Leonard Cohen smiles once in a while. Don’t be so shocked. Happiness is a transient beast best left untended in the milky night." - Fruit Stall Man, about 28 ‘and still down with the kids’, Lincoln.

"Interpol? The Joy Division lot? Get out of here! Oh yeah? Well you can take that betting slip and shove it up your arse, mate." - ‘Wily’ High Street Bookmaker’s reaction to presentation of fake Will Interpol Singer Smile In 2005? betting slip.

"Get lost. We keep telling you she doesn’t want to speak with you. Get a life, loser. No quotes for you today." - A-list celeb’s PR.

"Oh sorry, how much were you offering?" - A-list celeb’s PR.

"Fuck yourself. Seriously." A-list celeb’s PR.