Guest blog! Amy Grindhouse!

Model Gisele Bundchen recently gave an interview to Vanity Fair magazine that left many in the industry and beyond scratching their lace-front weaves with confusion.

The leggy Brazilian must have baked in the sun too long, or perhaps ingested too much toxic fake bake, as she seemed a little confused.

In a world where money and celebrity clout can easily buy your way around the adoption process and reality is nothing but a distant dream, perhaps it is no real surprise that Gisele has no idea whom she has given birth to recently.

In Vanity Fair, as quoted in brief by OK! Magazine, Gisele claims not to know that her stepson John Edward Thomas Moynahan is not actually her own flesh and blood.

In an episode which one could conceivably attribute to a prolonged dizzy spell brought on by a lack of carbs, the well known stunner claimed that husband Tom Brady’s love child with Bridget Moynahan, born in late 2007, was “100%” hers.

After reading some of Gisele’s quotes, even I was left wondering what on earth she was talking about. Though she managed to not claim to be my mother too, I could not help but wonder. According to her, a child’s maternity has nothing to do with carrying them, but merely a close physical proximity.

Gisele elaborates and then lies down after feeling faint from the effort of stringing so many words together, by saying that she loves Tom Brady’s child “as if he were [her own].”

She also calls John “my child” and mentions that she “[felt] like he was [her] son, from the first day.” Yikes.

Gisele trying to get her grubby mitts on baby John might be the latest well-manicured slap in the face for Bridget, who did not even get a look in, once the ‘boobs from Brazil’ appeared over the horizon.

In late 2006, Tom essentially tossed aside his newly preggers partner and fell head over heels with his new piece of South American arm candy.

From OK! Magazine Gisele says of the situation:

“I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day. He’s a little angel – the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life… It was definitely a surprise for both of us. In the beginning, you’re living this romantic fantasy; you’re thinking this can’t be true, it’s so good! And then, whoops – wake-up call!”

Models are not all stupid, though some make it seem that way. You only have to stand back and attempt to take in the magnificent glory of Tyra Banks’ all-powerful ‘five head’, to see that beauty and brains often do mix.

Although Gisele is not yet accustomed to even the thought of birthing a little one, and stretching all kinds of uncomfortable and unmentionable places, you would think that she would have the fortitude of mind to work out that she cannot just call “shotgun” or whatever and claim a baby for herself… right?

This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who couldn’t be any more wonderful if she was made of pies.

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