Gisele Bundchen is the Most Obnoxious Mom in the World

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giselebundchen300Gisele Bundchen took to Instagram to post a picture of herself getting ready for another hard day of standing and posing.  Her mini Brady child makes an appearance in it as well, lest we forget when seeing her major inner thigh gap that she gave birth to not one, but two children with amazing freaking genetics.  In the photo, she is giving her baby the liquid gold from her chichis, while getting bedazzled up by a team of stylists.

The message she was going for “Look at how well I multitask!”  but it comes off totally ridiculous and just plain obnoxious.  Is it really impressive to sit around with a baby on the teet while a team of paid individuals brushes your hair for you and paints your nails?  When you are just sitting on your ass, doing no tasks on your own, can you really claim to be doing any work?

Do you think she even wipes her own ass, or is there someone hired for that task too? Gisele Bundchen is kind of like that perfect bitch in high school that had it all, knew it, but tried to pretend she was above it all.  You know what I mean.  The prom queen dating the senior quarterback with the rich mommy and daddy who becomes president of some charity based afterschool group just to make sure everyone knows she is as altruistic as she is beautiful.  But then she’d give you the side eye in the lunchroom while discussing how meat is murder while you ate your hamburger, completely ignoring her $400 purse made out of skinned alligator and unicorn tears, and you knew that bitch was not as sweet as she pretended to be.

Now, fast forward to adult years. Turn prom queen into multimillionaire model, the QB boyfriend of a high school football team into a QB husband of a top ranking NFL team, and you have Bundchen’s life.   Bitch is the face of Victoria’s Secret and is legally wifed up to pretty boy, Tom Brady. And just in case you forgot how fucking amazing her world is, we all have Instagram to remind us.   Gisele Bundchen Breastfeeding

 

Gisele is the mom of two young kids, her youngest being the one year old girl in this photograph.  Now, let’s discuss this snapshot issue by issue.  Starting off with the whole breastfeeding thing, this moment should come as no surprise to anyone as Gisele has been very open about her feelings supporting breastfeeding.   But of course, someone so high up on their horse can’t be supportive without being a total condescending bitch about it.  A couple years ago after her first baby was born, Bundchen did an interview with Harper’s Bazaar UK where she basically called out any mother that uses formula as poisoning their child, and that it should be illegal.

“Some people here think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think, ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?’ There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”

Listen, we all know the milk that comes squirting out of a mother’s nipples is the best damn stuff on earth (Sorry, Snapple).  And I personally am all for babies getting that.  But the fact of the matter is, there are a ton of reasons why babies don’t, and they get formula instead.  It must be nice to be Gisele, to be so smug and judgey of millions of mothers around the world.  I am surprised the bitch doesn’t fall more on the runway since her nose is so far up in the air that her neck be sore.

Now, I am pro breastfeeding all the way.  Which is why that isn’t the total ridiculous part of the picture.  Super conservative shmucks who think the picture is too sexual, yet have no issues with Bundchen strutting her shit in a G-string, have their priorities all in a whack.  What is totally asinine is Gisele trying to pull the “multitasking” card here.  Bitch, you are sitting on your ass while everyone around you does all the word.  The makeup artist paints some beauty on your face, the hair stylist brushes your extensions, and even your baby is the one actually doing the sucking down of the milk.   If Bundchen is trying to be relatable here, in her top level apartment getting ready to put her hand on her hip and make $100K for doing so, she is horribly failing.

I have seen actual working moms who multitask.  And a much more realistic shot would be one where the mom is covered in spit up and shit, while holding the baby with one arm on a boob, and using her other arm to try and make some damn Rice a Roni, with a cellphone nestled in the crook of their neck on a business call.  That is some multitasking.

Thankfully, we have hysterical celebrities like Emmy Rossum who aren’t afraid of being milk bombed by LeLeche nuts and post things like this. article-0-1A0905B500000578-964_634x509

It’s just so hard being rich and beautiful.  So. Hard.

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Comments

  1. Allyson says

    That’s her reality, that’s her way of multitasking, either you like it or not! Just because she’s not a struggling mother doesn’t mean she’s a bad mother. And I don’t think she actually meant to show others “How well she multitasks!” as you state, because the picture was posted on Instagram, with a silly hashtag which is, at the end of the day, what everybody does on Instagram. She wasn’t preaching at a conference or anything, she just took a freaking picture. I find it amazing how so many moms out there feel offended by whatever Gisele says/does… It’s like they are screaming in unisom, “we are better moms than you, Gisele, because motherhood for us isn’t easy and it is for you! Stop being Gisele and making us feel bad about ourselves!” A tip for all you moms who don’t like Gisele: STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO HER! Maybe you find some time to perform your tasks one by one instead of multitasking like the superheroes you proclaim to be.

  2. Billy says

    You sound like the girl that everyone avoided in high school. The one that was jealous of everyone who was more attractive than her, even when she denied every chance she had, and would try to sound off about it to anyone within in earshot. You’re not in high school anymore. Start acting like an adult

  3. blah says

    Hey to break the news to you people in no reality is this multitasking. This is exactly the thing I despise she is being arrogant and out of touch with us common people. I really dislike anyone who gets up on there little soapbox to tell other people how they should do something. You all realize some women cannot make breast milk or gasp have a real job that doesn’t involve daily pampering with the ability to do work around a feeding schedule. When did we get so backwards that the rich are seen as the heros for doing squat and the working unwashed masses are the evil ones. They are entertainers nothing more to me they rate below just about every profession. They bring nothing to help mankind. Alas we listen intently to what they have to say like money raises intelligence or makes there opinions more profound. Thing is even if she was kidding or even a good mother the first thing she should speak out against is models like herself. I can guarantee with all the photo trickery they use is way worse on society and young women’s self image then any amount of breast milk can fix. You other people make me sick sticking up for person with short sided opinions while they cash in on making you question your self esteem. Good call.

  4. Deedee says

    It would be a much better world if people would mind their own business. What are you doing that others consider out of order? So judgemental.

  5. KateLove says

    Truth is you are the obnoxious person Megan Leitch. Oh and envious too. Giselle didn’t do anything wrong. It’s her right to post whatever she wants in HER instagram page. Just because you are not happy and contented with your life gives you and other jealous bitter women here the right to call Giselle obnoxious for having a ” perfect life”. Get over it! You are what’s wrong in this world. You and your jealousy towards others. Is that what you will teach your kids? Shame on you!

  6. Rebecca says

    Gisele Buttchin is an arrogant beyotch. There’s no denying that. Almost every comment she makes is to brag about her mothering “skills” and to criticize anyone who doesn’t do it like she does. Sure maybe people are jealous because she was considered to be beautiful (by some) and is married to a football star, and they have lots of money. But I think the biggest issue people have is that she shoots her mouth off, when let’s face it…. Is she at all educated on anything? Her job was to display her rack and her crack. Nothing wrong with promoting breastfeeding, but to follow it up with a stupid comment that it should be illegal not to breast feed, just makes her look ignorant, stupid and mean. Judging by the way she talks, I’d be willing to bet she has either no friends or very few. I can’t imagine anyone – at least not normal good moms – being interested in listening to this woman brag and criticize all the time.

  7. AMDB says

    LOVE this article by Megan Leitch and I think she is stating how the majority of us feel. While breast feeding IS the ‘best’ for SOME ppl, as an RN I have seen the other side of the coin; breast milk that simply is not rich enough and baby does not gain weight, women who simply DO NOT produce enough breast milk to sustain the babies weight and nutritional status, the list goes on. Formula certainly has it’s place and has decreased the number of infants who die from ‘failure to thrive’.

  8. Brie Antoinette says

    Disagree with Gisele by all means, just try not to come off as a jealous, mean, judgemental person yourself doing it. It makes you look worse than Gisele.

  9. Juliana P. says

    Ooooh… Who sounds obnoxious now?

    First of all, there is no way that Gisele was the prom-queen persona you so sweetly made up for her, because *reality check* she grew up in Brazil, where proms, cheerleaders and the stupid “American high school popularity dramas” are no where to be found.

    Second of all, you sound jealous, mean and downright stupid. Yes, spending 10 hours in a flight and having a photo shoot right after (as was the case with this picture, shooted in Sao Paulo, Brazil) is work, and it might sound glamourous but it is her reality and it can be tiring. Still, she found time to breastfeed and spend time with her baby girl. She could just hand the kid over to the nanny and have her fed formula, but she actually took the time to breastfeed and snap the picture to show that busy moms should take the time to try and do so themselves.

    Seriously, Megan? Go see a therapist… sounds like you need one.

  10. ElysiaValentine says

    I am truly shocked by how many people would visit what is very obviously a snarky blog and then get angry about the snark. Go read People magazine if you want to see someone kiss the celebrity’s ass, but don’t get mad at a blogger for writing her opinion.

  11. TarynB says

    This article is funny as all get out. She was obnoxious before the baby. It only makes sense that she would be worse now. How did she get Tom Douchebag Brady ; by interfering with his relationship with then pregnant Bridget Moynahan. What would call someone who calls the cops on someone who finds their lost dog? Why is she Brazilian? Because her evil ancestors escaped Germany to keep from being prosecuted for being Nazis. A whole family line of genuine nards .

  12. ink says

    No. Not all people get rich just because they’re beautiful. They play it smarter than the rest of most people. Giselle has a solid work ethic- she didn’t grow up rich, she grew up in a huge family and she simply earned a living knowing she has something she can use to get there. A lot of these moms are just jealous because someone CAN multi-task better than they can and was also beautiful. So what if she advocates something she believes in? Look…she worked hard to get rich- the modelling industry is very competitive- there are millions more beautiful than her but they didn’t have as much brains or guts as her to survive. So stop hating. People who often ‘struggle’ are mostly ordinary people who get stuck in their 9-5 jobs because they can’t figure out a better way to get out of it. Don’t tell me it’s because of genetics because you don’t have to be a model to get rich. I bet there are plenty of moms out there who can also run businesses and still find time for their children. I don’t think she is any different because she is an actual businesswoman. At least she doesn’t need a man to feed her and her baby…you have to give her credit for that.

    She is also right about breastfeeding. Baby formula is no match for breast milk and the stigma around women who breastfeed in public is mostly amongst Westerners who have managed to highly sexualise women’s image through widespread advertising and also through less restrictions on prostitution and accessibility to pornography. But they’ve created that problem though. And one last thing, I don’t think the photo is highly sexual. It’s more like you’re reflecting society’s distorted views. She is modelling, she is not prostituting. There’s a difference.

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