Girls Aloud Have Their Very Own Stalker

The world of Fan Fiction has always been a murky one.

Whether its badly-scribbled nonsense about fictional characters or wishful rhetoric about real-life people, chances are its going to be essentially harmless. After all, the people who write that kind of stuff presumably never leave the house anyway, so what danger are they going to be to anyone?

Occasionally, though, the odd nutcase slips through.

Just like the one who's stalking Girls Aloud.

That's cyber-stalking, by the way, not yer actual jumping-out-of-shower-clutching-breadknife sort of stalking. At least, that's the case for now. Girls Aloud are more than a little bit worried that a mysterious online psycho - who's been jabbering on about doing all sorts of murderous things to them - may feel the need to fulfil his fantasies in the real world.

The stalker has apparently written a story entitled Girls (Scream) Aloud (see what he did there?) which tells of 'mutilation, rape and murder'. Obviously Girls Aloud's security aren't too impressed with this, and have issued a statement saying:

 "We won't give this person the satisfaction that the girls care. They have security with them all the time, they are safe enough."

Looks like they're clamping down on this sort of stuff. That's why hecklerspray is offering a cut-price rate on all our works of celebrity-based fiction! Simply choose a title from the listing below, send us a cheque for £25.99, and we'll send you a deluxe leather-bound hardcopy of the story of your choice!

Titles include:

Britney Spears Does A Wee-Wee

Kiefer Sutherland: 24 Hours In Butlins

The Dude From Lost Has, Like, A Totally Awesome Fight With That Guy From Heroes, With Shitloads Of Blood And Everything

Shakira And Stalin: Forbidden Love

Anyone For Tennis? With Bruce Willis? 

Harry Potter Cures All Diseases, But Only For Upstanding White Christian Folk

Avril Lavinge Vs. Uptight Fifties America

Richard Blackwood: My Story

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Girls Aloud Have A Stalker - Showbiz Spy