We've never been able to figure Nicolas Cage out all that much – his career path has taken him to some bloody odd places in his time, and now thanks to a stunt racer in a wig listening to The Carpenters he's at the top of the US weekend box office.
After the dismal critical or commercial failures of The Wicker Man, World Trade Centre, The Ant Bully, The Weather Man and Lord Of War, Nicolas Cage is back at the top of the US weekend box office with Ghost Rider – a loopy-looking comic book film that's had one just good review, and that was only because the guy who wrote it lived down the road from where it was filmed. It's not all bad news, though – Ghost Rider's box office success will no doubt mean that a Ghost Rider sequel is in the works, and any film that stops Nicolas Cage from making another film where he runs up a hill dressed as a bear and punches a girl in the face is just dandy with us.
Let's not get carried away, though; although Ghost Rider is top of the weekend box office this week – taking more than double its nearest rival's total – it's still languishing as only the 32nd best superhero movie ever, taking the highly-sought Only Just Better Than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III spot in the all-time charts. But then what do you expect from a movie where Nicolas Cage eats jellybeans out of a glass then sets his head on fire and rides a motorbike up a building that looks like it was drawn on an Amiga 500. Here's this week's US weekend box office top five…
1 – Ghost Rider (Already people are calling Ghost Rider Nicolas Cage's best work since the Japanese commercial where he sees some triplets, goes cross-eyed and shouts "Fever!" while standing on top of a car) $44,500,000
2 – Bridge To Terabithia (Already known by countless cinema workers as "Bridge To Tera… Bridge To Terabaf… Bridge To Tera.. Tera… two tickets for that film about the two annoying kids wanking about in a fairy castle please.") $22,075,000
3 – Norbit (Let's just assume that Mel B's baby is Eddie Murphy's – at some point there'll have to be the 'Daddy sometimes dresses up as a fat woman' conversation. That'll probably come after the 'Daddy used to make jokes about AIDS' conversation) $16,802,000
4 – Music And Lyrics (Where Hugh Grant learns to shed his playboy ways and starts to live his life maturely and sensibly by boning a girl 15 years younger than him over and over again) $14,000,000
5 – Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls (The same mix of harrowing domestic violence and miserable lessons on how awful life is as Tyler Perry's last film, but without a man dressed up as an elderly overweight lady. We're not even going to begin weighing up if that makes it better of worse) $12,100,000
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Daniella says
Not enough bear-dressing or girl punching in this film. Must try harder Mr Cage