The Sun is happily ringing the bell on Geri Halliwell’s atrocious solo pop career. They report that her next job could be "flipping burgers’" after her single Desire (CDs) reluctantly set up shop at only number 18 in the charts.
Geri has tried everything to stave off this inevitable blacklisting of her music. She’s lost weight, put it on, lost weight, put it on, lost weight, put it on. Combine all that work with a Five propaganda documentary that would have made the Nazis blush and nobody can say she’s not been a busy bee.
You think we’re harsh? The Sun opened their story by contentedly informing Geri "it’s all over, dear", then went onto deride her new single’s chart position as "feeble". She must have ignored the wrong person at her launch party.
Celebrities though – by whatever thin strip of contacts they still have left to hang onto the title – need to be a tough breed.
If they’re good at what they do they’ll be rewarded with riches and fornication. If they fall below par we’ll tear them off their perch quicker than hungry tomcat. Why? Because nobody has an ingrained right to be anything they want. You’ve gotta earn your place up high, then work even harder to keep it.
Staying at the top is possible if you’re smart enough to play the game and have enough talent up your sleeves to keep us guessing. Tom Cruise (DVDs) may get on most people’s wick but he’s managed it. Kylie (CDs) knows how to listen to advice. Heck, even Tesco‘s a name you’ll be long sick of before they’re gone, we guarantee it.
A solo personality can’t hide behind a long forgotten brand image forever. It catches them all up in the end and they have to move on.
Baring this in mind, we think Geri should quit music before she crumbles under the weight of her own expectations and go and do something useful that makes her happy.
Seriously, anyone who saw Lee MacDonald who played Zammo in Grange Hill on that Channel 4 reunion documentary the other week will know what we mean.
The poor guy now cuts keys for a living. But you know what? He’d had his shot at the bubble, it was fun, he made some coin and now he’s just happy for people to yell “Alright, Zammo!†at him in the street. And at least he was smiling.
Fame and fortune is one thing, but acceptance of who you really are, honestly, truly, when all the bullshit’s stripped away, that’s the best thing of all.
Get yourself a genuine Geri police uniform to remember her by at ebay.
[story by Chris Laverty]
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Jeez, I don’t know why I bother reading The Sun – I get it all here first!
Shame that having the 18th most popular record in the UK is now deemed as a failure. Heck, most of Depeche Mode’s best work failed to get into the top 20 and it never did their staying power any harm. I feel that Geri just peeked too soon and needs to work on her other talents (whatever they may be:))