Let's take a trip back in time. Back to a prehistoric era. 2007, to be exact. I was seventeen-years-old, and I, along with many of my classmates, had just seen a talking set of abs kick a Persian emissary into a bottomless pit, right after shouting ?THIS IS SPARTA!? I'm a man now.
Imagine my surprise at seeing, just a year later, this same set of abs holding a heart and looking coy next to Katherine Heigl.
Let me make it clear that Gerard Butler has not lost his bad ass card. Whenever he gets pulled over, he still has to show license, proof of insurance and what a sweet uppercut looks like when you're holding a shield. To be held by Gerard Butler, guns have to get a Butler Registration. And if you're standing within four feet of the Grand Canyon, Gerard Butler is legally allowed to try and punt you into it.
But he has lost his stability card. Maybe it's because his eyes tell a tender, guarded story, or because I would feel so safe in his arms, but he has transitioned to being half-action hero and half-romantic comedy star.
This is something that people like Sylvester Stallone and Jean Claude Van Damme were never able to do. Sure, Van Damme showed his ass (and the splits) to a lot of reporters, and when you have to ask Stallone to repeat ?I love you? because you didn't understand it the first time, it totally means that that love is real. But they just don't have that romantic allure. You wouldn't invite Timecop or Rambo out for coffee. But you'd totally listen to Leonidas talk about his relationship with his father.
Despite the fact that it seems random that, out of everyone who's tried to balance both fighting dudes and still making it home in time to thank you for dinner, Gerard Butler was the one to succeed, I believe that this was no accident. Gerard Butler puts the man in ?Romance? for a reason. He's a science experiment.
?A fine specimen? said someone smart, after they saw 300. ?Men love him, and soon, soccer moms will too.? Gerard was kidnapped and brought to an underground lab, where Operation Alpha: Biceps and Roses was performed. Implanted with enough clever one liners to cover both shooting someone in the head and acting aloof about a kiss. Injected with a serum that makes him able to throw a man, but look tender and vulnerable while doing it. Gerard was turned into a perfect killing machine.
?I knew it was your birthday, so I brought you these chocolates? he whispered hoarsely, as he wobbled from the cryo-tank.
?A success!? the scientists screamed in unison.
It hasn't always worked out though. When mixing romance and action, the bio-grafts that were sewn into Gerard?s head sometimes go haywire. You can see this happening in The Bounty Hunter, where he co-starred with Jennifer Aniston. If you've ever seen Jennifer Aniston, you know she's the absolute epitome of being both beautiful and desperate at forty. And it was just too much for Gerard to handle. He couldn't find the right balance. Every look he gives Aniston in that film could be interpreted as a death stare. I feared for Aniston?s life during the scene where she and Butler stayed at a bed and breakfast.
I sweated and whispered to myself, ?Please, Gerard. Stay focused on the love. Don't rip her arms off.? I saw Gerard strain. There had been a car chase earlier, and there were shootouts to come. Could Butler stay on track, or would the director call cut because the room would soon be covered in Friends lead? Luckily, Gerard pulled through. He even kissed her in the end, while in a jail cell. Usually that location would be the impetus for a rampage, but miracles do happen.
The last movie I saw with Gerard in it was a late viewing of Gamer, where he fought a cowboy Dexter. The next is Playing For Keeps, coming out this December, where apparently he just nails soccer moms. I think this could be a good move for Gerard, as long as he doesn't have to punch anything.
If he does, well, we can only pray.?
Blake says
I would pay a small fee to read Daniel’s work.
weetiger3 says
Hilarious! And you actually cut to the heart of the Butler Conundrum. It is both his blessing and his curse that he is able to switch so easily between genres. (And the fans of either are never satisfied with whatever his latest choice might be.) The thing is, the guy’s a very good actor who doesn’t get to show his chops often. Machine Gun Preacher was tanked by the distributor (Relativity) for reasons that may never be entirely clear and Coriolanus was, well it was Shakespeare despite the fact that it was accessible, well-done Shakespeare.
Thanks for the chuckles!
Living West says
Ok, it is true, and it is amusing. Sorry you missed Law Abiding Citizen, Rocknrolla, (a great and amusing British film about small time crooks, so you need subtitles…:) Dear Frankie, and PS I Love you, with Hilary Swank. The latter is not a rom-com, though billed as one. It is a favorite of many young women. He did a great job in both Machine Gun Preacher, which got shafted by its distributor, and in Coriolanus, a Shakespearean play directed by Ralph Fiennes.
Butler is what he seems to be, a man good to women, good-natured, often called sweet by co-workers, but he will knock your head off if need be. He told a funny story to Leno many years ago, about law school, and getting into a fight; he said he gave the opposing dude, a Scottish kiss, which is a head butt.
The kind of man endlessly patient with fans. In Playing for Keeps, coming in December, he uses his natural Scottish brogue. Chasing Mavericks, for which he learned to surf (and almost drowned at Mavericks in December), is out in October. A true story, he plays a mentor to a famous young surfer.
He just finished Olympus Has Fallen, a white house taken kind of story. Coming out early next year.
Keep up with this active dude!!! He starts on Thunder Run, a true story about the invasion of Iraq, with Sam Worthington and McConahuey, shortly.
stella says
Good actor? What and overstatement! Actually, he falls between two stools.
Matt Conlon says
I’m surprised you didn’t mention his role in the Phantom of the Opera.
Lisa says
BRILLIANT!!! Thanks for articulating so well what the rest of us were feeling. He’s still my favourite, and even more so now because of how you’ve described him looking at that overblinker, Jennifer Aniston.
Living West says
“What and overstatement!”…hmm, perhaps this is garbled, as it is not clear, not sure why the word and is in the middle. Have no idea even what the rest of it means. Seen any of his films?
Sandy says
Gerard Butler is every woman’s dream. The perfect man. Sweet, sexy and able to take care of her.
He is kind and sensitive, loves his mum and cherishes his family. He is the best of the best when it comes to acting. He can do any genre from action hero to animated hero as well.
He always awes me and never disappoints me.
I love him absolutely.
Michelle says
He’s actually not Leonidas. He’s a gentle giant type that is cute and giggly. He’s a great actor because he’s nothing like his roles.
Libby says
Michelle hit the perverbial nail upon it’s head.
Gerry is handsome, rugged, tall, and muscular. So people want him to be a beefcake. But the fact is he’s not afraid to seen out with his mom, his niece(s) [premier of Nim’s Island], and that he actually studied and was pretty close to becoming a lawyer … kind of ruins the beefcake-y-ness.
The worst part of PS I Love You is that there’s not enough Gerry in it. As for his other movies, they seem to be okay. Some are really terrible (Dracula 2000), but HE’S not terrible. But I watch each one. Hoping he will one day get the glory of George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. But Gerry won’t. And it’s probably better that way. Because he’s better.