George Michael is fast becoming more famous for getting arrested for falling asleep at the wheel of his car with drugs on him than he is for churning out blandly pointless music that only hairdressers like.
However, despite getting arrested and cautioned on Sunday for doing the whole sleepy car drug possession thing again, George Michael spent much of yesterday insisting that he doesn't have a drug problem. A problem with making songs that don't have a tune lately, yes. A problem with looking like a twat in newspapers all the time, yes. But a drug problem? Don't be daft.
The list of places where you don't want to meet George Michael is growing ever-longer all the time. Obviously public toilets are a no-no, what with George Michael having been arrested for waggling his old chap at a policeman in the past. And you wouldn't want to meet George Michael in a park at night, on the off-chance that he'd be fumbling around with a van-driver in a bush, or defiantly proclaiming his love for gay cruising, or threatening to sue everyone who suggests that his boyfriend might be a bit miffed if he found out.
But the one place you really, really don't want to meet George Michael is anywhere when he's in a car, because the poor guy is looking more and more like a monumental liability. In the past, George Michael has apparently smashed up a bunch of cars in his Range Rover and has been arrested for falling asleep on a roundabout in central London with drugs in his possession. Back then, George Michael was quick to call the arrest his own stupid fault, but when it all happened again on Sunday and George Michael had another snoozy drug car arrest, George decided to stand his own ground a bit more, deny he has a drug problem and turn into a sort of odd dope-smoking narcoleptic Black Panther, as The Mirror reports:
George Michael yesterday denied he had a drug problem after again being found slumped at the wheel of his car. He admitted: "That's the second time in a year I've been caught with an unused spliff in the motor. I had no drink or drugs in my body." Shaking his head and raising his hand as if making an oath, he added: "I haven't got a problem with drugs."
Meanwhile, George Michael's record label Sony is thought to be considering dropping the singer. Not because of all this 'falling asleep and getting arrested' malarkey, but just because all of his new songs are crap. Oh, alright, it's the sleepy drugs thing.
[story by Stuart Heritage]