George Michael To Snooze Around America Quite Soon
Americans, if you happen to stumble across an incoherent hairy Greek man asleep at the wheel of his car this summer, don't be alarmed.
Although his unshaven appearance and man boogly eyes might make you think he's homeless or a terrorist, chances are it'll just be George Michael.
George Michael has announced his first tour of America for 17 years. It'll be an undoubtedly emotional tour for him – not only will it be a chance for George Michael to claw back some of the fame he lost there in the last decade and a half but he might even get a free weekend to wank at another policeman in a toilet again, just for old time's sake.
Over the last few years, George Michael literally couldn't have been more British. He's taken up all the traditional British pursuits like ringing up Richard And Judy and fondling men in bushes and almost doing it with pre-death Princess Diana – three things that all British men do at least quarterly.
But while George Michael has managed to keep hold of his predominantly hairdresser, nurse and wealthy Russian oligarch-based fanbase in the rest of the world, American success has eluded him lately. That's partly because George Michael is more well-known as the big-haired Wham! singer than anything else there, partly because his chances of American success died a slow death when he was trying to sue his record label in the early 1990s and partly because he waggled his penis at a policeman in a toilet there once, and that tends to be a little more interesting than singing songs about baby Jesus.
But now George Michael plans to fix all that, because he's hitting the road on his first American tour for 17 years. Reuters reports:
George Michael has a lot of "Faith" in his North American fans. The British pop singer on Monday unveiled plans for his first tour of the United States and Canada in 17 years, beginning June 17 at San Diego Sports Arena. The 22-date arena trek runs through August 3 at the BankAtlantic Center in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Tickets for the "25 Live" tour go on sale to the general public on April 6th, a week after fan club members get first dibs. Ticketmaster currently lists one show, the July 7 gig at Saint Paul, MN., where the top price is $175.
George Michael's American tour is set to last for seven weeks, although there's a chance it'll take quite a lot longer than that if George Michael drives himself. Unless the tour is scheduled to be a narcoleptic tour of traffic roundabouts at 3am mumbled from inside his own car, in which case everything's going to be just dandy.
Read more:
“hat’s partly because George Michael is more well-known as the big-haired Wham! singer than anything else there”
Bollocks – he was most successful in the US as a solo artist with his album Faith! That album hit the the top of the US charts 2 Christmas in a row and sold over 20 million copies worldwide.
As for his fanbase, I know for a fact that the 1.4 million people who attended the 25 live shows in Europe were not all Russian oligarchs (I wish!).
Didn’t your mother ever tell you ..if you can’t say something “Nice”..don’t say anything at all!
“Over the last few years, George Michael literally couldn’t have been more British. He’s taken up all the traditional British pursuits like ringing up Richard And Judy and fondling men in bushes and almost doing it with pre-death Princess Diana – three things that all British men do at least quarterly.
But while George Michael has managed to keep hold of his predominantly hairdresser, nurse and wealthy Russian oligarch-based fanbase in the rest of the world, American success has eluded him lately.!
America isn’t the whole world you know. George is a massive star and well above your offensive and homophobic viewpoints.
You know nothing about what British men are like and no not all George’s fan’s are hairdresser’s, nurses or wealthy Russian’s.
Move on everyone else has. Lets see how quickly the hugely talented George sells out those baseball and ’soccer’ stadiums!
Yawn…….oh I see we have another sad little man here who feels inadequate compared to George. Live with it man because George has more talent in his little finger than you could ever hope to achieve in a lifetime
You couldn’t be more off base. George Michael is a major pop star and his work has hardly been forgotten — in America and especially in Europe where he’s been touring stadiums and selling out for the last two years. He’s hugely popular in Japan, Australia, India, and Russia. As we shall soon see, the North American Tour will sell out in minutes and prove to be as successful as his recent tours in Europe.
I find your homophobic snickering annoying and immature. So George Michael is a homosexual and likes to cruise — deal with it. The rest of the world has. The L.A. “toilet incident” was 10 years ago — move on already. Nobody cares anymore. He’s a huge talent (who writes, produces, arranges, and sings all of his own music) and that overshadows any indiscretions he may have had.
Wow how long did that article take you to write The world does not revolve around the USA . Try googling his name and getting recent facts ,cos the shit you wrote is old news babe . People have moved on i reckon you should try it . Hey here’s a scoop for you did you know Elvis had died
Dude are you smoking crack? ‘Cos this is the guy who wrote such classic pop hits as Faith, Father Figure, One More Try, Kissing a Fool, Freedom 90, and Waiting for That Day. He’s been around for 25 years, writing his first his song at 17 while riding the bus (Careless Whisper). When so many pop icons from the 80s are in trouble or just forgotten, he’s still writing music and touring to sell-out stadiums.
Get a clue.
So Stuart Heritage, what have you accomplished in your insignificant life? Written the Great American Novel yet? No, you’re regurgitating tabloid gossip for a celebrity website. Classy.
the vigilante bum brigade is out in full force tonight.
It is obvious that you have no concept of talent and are possibly homophobic. George Michael is one of the few artists that writes what he sings and very few songs are “remakes”. Despite the fact that he is human and makes mistakes like everyone else, he is a very benevolent person and does a lot for charity. Do yourself a favor and try dealing with issues not opinions.
FACT: He is touring here, despite being treated like garbage from the press.
FACT: He is selling out concerts and not in rehab or abusing people every week.
Personally, I think you should try a job in obituaries- less dealing with TACT and humanity.
Such a sad little man you are…before you decide to write crap about someone, do your homework…This so called “journalism” about George Michael, I wouldn’t even lay down to have my dog doo-doo on.
Why don’t you just slither back under the rock you came from.
Hugh Grant gets caught with a prostitute. Forgotten.
Eddie Murphy gets caught with a transvestite. Forgotten.
George Michael solicits sex from a police officer … ten frickin years later some second-rate hack is still writing about it.
Jesus, just let it go already.
HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT HE NEEDS TO GO BACK TO PARKS !! HIS MUSIC IS SHIT ALBUMS ARENT SALING GOOD WHAT THE FUCK HE WIL LDO IN USA WE DONT NEED HIS SHITS IN HERE .
lynn george have more talents that you have in your fuck** life
if you don´t like don´t go to the concerts ok?
@ LYNN: First, learn how to spell. Second, learn punctuation. Third, go to the bank, take out all of your money, then go to a store and buy yourself a clue.
Lynn probably doesn’t have any money to take out! George has a significant and dedicated American following! We are thrilled he is touring here again!
HAHAHA IT`S SO FUNNY HOW YOU ALL SCREAMING FOR ONE LOSER FAG:-) YOU ALL KNOW HE FUCKED UP HIM SELF HEHEHEHEHE HIS ALBUMS ARE SELLING ZERO!!!!!!! AS A SINGER NO ONE HAS RESPECT TO HIM ANY MORE AND YOU FEW LUNATIC HERE TRY TO SAVE HIS FUTURE LOL GET A LIFE WEIRDOS WHY YOU ALL DON`T ACCEPT HE IS ONLY GOOD IN PARKING LOTS AND WITH DRUGS????I BET YOU ALL OLDER COUNTRY PEOPLE OR WITH OTHER WORD RED NIECKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
lol
Lynn I am surprised you can spell your own name – let alone use a computer.
fuck you fucking french worlds know you all fucking idiot
wow lynn i see your another muppet that thinks we are all from the good ol U S of A .Now little girl run along an get yourself another doughnut or somert as im sure George is relieved knowing a sad little dweeb like you thinks he’s a tosser. I’m sure George would tell you to kiss his greek hairy arse
@ LYNN: Actually Lynn, we’re a pretty diverse crowd: a lot of women, a lot of gay men like myself, a lot of Americans and Europeans and Japanese and Australians …
I can’t help noticing Lynn that you sound really ghetto. What was the last school grade you finished? Seriously, I’d be curious to know.
LYNN: Are you writing from a mental institution?
I love George Michael! You’re a hotty in my book! <3
lol
lynn I´m surprised that you can write six sentences for yourself good work, hehe I remember you george sold more 85millions albums around the world, and we needn´t save his future cause george still have it.
bye bye
I`m Afraid I Agree With Him ..Plus You All Are Really Acting So Funny I Can`t Believe It One Person Makes All Of You That Angry!! Some People Likes Him Some Not ! That Simple He Had His Time 20 Years Ago He Did His Best Right Now In America I`m Afraid No One Knows His Name Or His Music I Still Wish Him Good Luck With His US Concert ..I Don`t Care About His Personel Life
hhahahaha people still care about george micheal
If you had been to see any of George’s concerts in Europe you would not be writing such a derisory article about him and his fanbase. He is one of the few seriously talented musicians in the world today with the ability to make record breaking concert ticket sales across Europe and – despite what you think – I bet the USA too.
People appreciate sincerity, intelligence and talent in other inidividuals – all of which George has in abundance and none of which apply to you.
Not selling any albums? Hmmm…..his new album – the digital version ( a little more $$$ than just the plain one) is already sold out on Best Buy online. They must have had zero albums on there. Goes to show ya just don’t know what you are talking about.
oh get a fucking life you idiots !!!!!
Yogchick i know who are you fucking redneck cock sucker bitch i don`t deal people like you low class small town bitch go to fucking hell or do you want me the post here all your ims ??? about gm forums?? or gm forums webby or planet george or? your ims to other people about denise Michele ???? so you better keep your damm mouth shut you bitch
LYNN: What the fuck are you talking about? I’m no redneck — I live in a major city and I’m not even white. I don’t go to GMForums and I’ve only said nice things about DeniseMichelle.
@ LYNN: You are truly psycho!!!!!!! By the way, I can’t be a redneck — I’m not even white. And I live in a major city.
GEORGE MICHAEL:
1 sold 85 million records as a solo artist plus more than 20 million as a frontman of wham.
2 the first white artist to sing with the queen of soul.
3 his debut album faith was the best selling album in the usa in 1988 and produce 4 number one singles.
4 his single faith was the best selling album in the usa in 1988 beating MICHAEL JACKSON AND MADONNA.
5 he won 3 american music awards in one single night
6 he was the first white male artist to hit number one in the R&B chart.
7 he was the first white male artist to won american music awards on R&B cat.
8 his sold more them 20 million records in america alone.
9 he was the top selling male artist between 1984-1989 in america.
10 he won 2 grammy awards and 3 AMA and 2 Mtv video awards.
11 careless whisper was best selling single io america in 1985
12 he enjoyed 10 number one singles in america more than any british artist in the chart.
and many more—