Cannabis affects people in all kinds of different ways, making some watch hours of illegally-downloaded Family Guy episodes and others – like prodigious stoner George Michael – churn out album after album of insipid mass-market pop-soul.

But all that might be about to change. No, not the insipid pop-soul thing – we fear we'll be stuck with that forever – but the other bit. Because in the future George Michael wants to consume a slightly smaller amount of cannabis than he currently does, and he said as much on Desert Island Discs. George Michael's drug statement was so bold, so shocking and so unexpected that we can't even begin to fathom out what life will be like in a world where George Michael decreases his cannabis intake by a fraction of a percent. Maybe George Michael will find the time to discover a cure for all illness, or maybe he'll make an album so beautiful that it'll stop all wars forever. Or maybe he'll just stop phoning up daytime TV shows so much, who knows? 

It's painful to admit, we know, but George Michael is probably the most badass pop singer in the country at the moment. Sure, George Michael has never squirted his own blood at people like Pete Doherty or had a drug-fuelled razorblade fight in a hooker-filled hotel like Amy Winehouse; but in his own Radio 2, loved-by-hairdressers kinda way, George Michael has been at the forefront of moderate pop misbehaviour for years now, whether he's falling asleep at the wheel of his car or refusing to test himself for AIDs or groping anonymous van-drivers in bushes.

And then there's George Michael's fondness for soft drugs. We know that George Michael loves to smoke cannabis because a) the languidly smooth grooves of his hits are a clear indication of drug use and b) he never effing shuts up about it. If George Michael isn't smoking drugs on TV then he's pulling classically stoner-ish stunts like trying to sue the whole world and sending John Lennon's piano to war zones in the hope that people will put aside their differences because they can see a piano. But you should make the most of George Michael behaving like this while you can, because on Desert Island Discs this weekend George Michael announced that he was entertaining the idea of thinking about possibly reducing his cannabis intake by such a paltry amount that you'd barely even notice anyway. The Telegraph reports:

"I'm constantly trying to smoke less marijuana," he told the presenter Kirsty Young. "I'd like to take less and to a degree it's a problem." But he added: "Is it a problem in my life? Is it getting in the way of my life? I really don't think so. "I'm a happy man and I can afford my marijuana so that's not a problem." … "In a strange way I've spent the last 15 to 20 years trying to derail my own career," he says. "But it never seems to suffer. I suffer like crazy. I've suffered bereavements and public humiliations, but my career always seems to right itself like a plastic duck in the bath. In some ways I resent that."

You resent that? Anyway, thinking about consuming less drugs is a brave step for George Michael to take – what if all his talent suddenly dries up as a result of his new healthy lifestyle? What if George Michael has become so reliant on cannabis aiding the elusive creative process that it'll all fall to pieces once it's removed from the equation? We don't think that George Michael has anything to worry about here, though, because we'd imagine that the sort of tuneless, forgettable funk-lite non-songs that he's been peddling for the last five years are pretty easy to come up with no matter what substances have been taken.

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George Michael 'Trying To Smoke Less Cannabis' – Telegraph