Up until very recently, the scariest thing about George Michael was either that video where there were loads of George Michaels singing in a club or his ludicrous facial hair. But that's before we knew about the car thing.
Two months after apparently getting drugged off his mash and falling asleep in a parked car, it looks like George Michael is at it again. Reports are suggesting that George Michael smashed up a load of cars in his Range Rover on Monday and drove off without either saying sorry or singing a consolatory verse of I Want Your Sex.
George Michael is always carping on about how guilty feet have got no rhythm, but if the reports of Monday's events are true, perhaps he should change his motto to "Guilty feet have got substandard clutch control." Because George Michael is to be interviewed by police following an incident where it seems he smashed up three cars and buggered off before he thought anyone saw him.
According to reports, residents of Hornsey Lane in Highgate were woken up yesterday by a loud crash. After running outside to see what the fuss was, they were confronted by George Michael sitting in his unnecessarily big Range Rover and staring at a busted up Fiesta.
After a few moments, George Michael decided to leg it, but not before he smashed into another car – which then shunted forwards and banged into another parked car. A Scotland Yard spokesperson has said:
"A representative of the registered owner of the vehicle has attended a north London police station to notify police of the incident. An appointment has been made to speak to the registered owner in due course."
All this comes just two months after George Michael was caught apparently taking a druggy nap in his car near Hyde Park. After police took him to the station for tests, George was cautioned for possession of cannabis, and then calling the incident "My own stupid fault, as usual." George Michael also denied that he was going to make a funny send-up video of the car-snooze like he did after waggling his penis at a police officer in a public toilet.
But perhaps this will all change if he's found guilty of this latest car-smashing claim. After all, who wouldn't want to hear George Michael singing a slightly customised Madness song like I've Been Driving In My Car (And I'm Really Fucking Shit At It)?
Read more:
George In New Car Drama – This Is London
[story by Stuart Heritage]