For the past 16 years or so, hecklerspray's been diligently searching for some Star Wars closure. The unspoken heat so obviously displayed between R2-D2 and Chewbacca needs desperately to be addressed.
We were thinking a more ideal (albeit sad and unconventional) end to Return of the Jedi would have been to have R2 give birth to a batch of Chewy's puppies only to die instantly in the death star's final explosion. So George Lucas, if you could change that digitally it'd be great for us. We don't need a credit. And if you could do that before you quit the movie business altogether as you recently said you intend to do, it would make a lot more fiscal sense.
PS. Thanks for getting Han out of that kryptonite coffin. His UFO won't fly itself you know.
Put your Jedi robes back in the closet, stop making laser sounds as you swoop curtain rods through the air, and put your 1999 Jar Jar Binks brand cereal back on the shelf – because George Lucas may never make a movie again. He said as much:
"We don't want to make movies. We're about to get into television. As far as Lucasfilm is concerned, we've moved away from the feature film thing, because it's too expensive and it's too risky."
Now now people, don't be too upset. Wipe your nose with your Star Wars pyjama sleeve and ready yourself for some brighter news. It's not all over yet – Lucas & co. are still working on the next Indiana Jones movie. Luc-dog talked a bit about that too:
"Steve (Spielberg) and I are still working away, trying to come up with something we're happy with. Hopefully in a short time we will come to an agreement. Or something."
So Indiana 4 is still drudging our way via Lucasfilm, as is some airplane movie, a Star Wars TV show, a Star Wars cartoon, and (we're told) an honest to goodness robot-prom date that talks to you via a pre-recorded Teddy Ruxpin style cassette tape. Ours would repeatedly say "Let the world melt away around us, as long as we can keep on spooning" with James Earl Jones' voice. We've totally got goose-bumps. For those of you worrying about the moral issues synthetic dating is bound to raise – don't. We're told there are payment plans.
Anyone know if they accept Diner's Club? They've our only line of credit.
[story by Shawn Lindseth]