George Clooney is one of the most lauded actors of his generation, whether he's winning awards for growing beards in films or advertising booze in commercials, but all the critical acclaim can't hide the fact that George Clooney's pig is dead.
This isn't some kind of metaphor for box office bankability or the weight of George Clooney's reputation amongst his peers – we're talking about George Clooney's actual pig, which is literally dead. George Clooney owned a pig, and now he doesn't because it's dead. For what it's worth, George Clooney's pig had a name – Max – and he lived a full life until he was 19 years old. Which means he probably isn't even good for sausages any more either.
2006 has been a phenomenal year for George Clooney – in 2005 George Clooney was just that annoyingly self-satisfied guy from the Martini adverts, but this year George Clooney has blossomed into the Oscar-winning actor who's not only the manliest man in the world but also the sexiest man in the world, the man who set Danny DeVito off on his course of boozy destruction and a man who secretly has the hots for Leonardo DiCaprio. But fate has intervened and ensured that George Clooney's year won't be quite as brilliant as he'd have liked – George Clooney's 19-year-old Vietnamese pot-bellied pig Max has died.
Max the pig was always a constant in George Clooney's life; he was there with George during the difficult years as a jobbing big-haired TV actor on shows like The Golden Girls and Murder She Wrote, he was there with George during the first ER-led flushes with fame and the subsequent Batman-led flushes with ridicule, and he's been there with George Clooney through this last confusing award-earning year. Needless to say, George Clooney will no doubt be mourning the death of a long-time companion like Max the pig, and it's up to his slave Stan Rosenfield to sensitively express precisely how much Max the pig meant to George Clooney:
“He was a big pig, as pigs go. I can’t tell you how much he weighed.”
George Clooney's pig is reported to have died on Friday, and George spoke to reporters an hour after finding out for himself, saying:
“I was really surprised, because he’s been a big part of my life.”
Now, sometimes in the celebrity world things happen with such extreme coincidence that it's hard not to be suspicious – think Tom Cruise falling in love with Katie Holmes just before War Of The Worlds was released or Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn temporarily breaking up just as The Break-Up got released on DVD – but we're positive that George Clooney's pig dying during promotion for The Good German – one of his least commercial-looking movies ever – was just a coincidence. We'd never ever say that George Clooney is a pig murderer.