The last time anyone at hecklerspray won an award it was when the woman who brings sandwiches round at lunchtime won the 'biggest ovarian cyst of 1994' prize, an award that George Clooney has just effortlessly outstripped.
Without doubt George Clooney is simply an endlessly wonderful man that deserves to be delivered a constant stream of various awards. However, in the cold light of day all George Clooney has done is star in a TV hospital drama, been the second-worst Batman, larked about all smug in those Ocean's films and occasionally made films that aren't nearly as important or clever as he thinks they are – which hardly merits much in the way of awards. Despite all this, George Clooney was awarded the American Cinematheque award on Friday night. It goes without saying that nobody outside the smug circle-jerk of Hollywood – and probably most of those within it -knows what the American Cinematheque award actually is for, so we're willing to guess that it just means that George Clooney looks quite nice in a tuxedo or something.
Although the world is stuffed full of stupid polls and awards, they have mostly helped to contribute to the sum of human knowledge. For instance, thanks to awards we know that Marcia Cross has nice hair and Scarlett Johansson has nice tits and Jennifer Aniston was the best man of 2005. But then there's the American Cinematheque award. It's an award that literally nobody really knows the point of. According to Wikipedia, the American Cinematheque award is for "an extraordinary artist in the entertainment industry who is fully engaged in his or her work and is committed to making a significant contribution to the art of the motion pictures," but that's the single most vague thing we've ever heard.
Anyway, George Clooney won the American Cinematheque award on Friday, so we have a feeling that the award is either for actors who make weak masturbation jokes about politicians or who really really dislike the paparazzi. Either way, despite all signs pointing to the American Cinematheque award being completely pointless, all sorts of famous people turned up to see George Clooney get given his award, even though not a single person in the room knew what the award was actually for or why George Clooney was getting it instead of them, as IOL reports:
Stars including director Oliver Stone and actors Julia Roberts, Christian Slater, Salma Hayek, Geoffrey Rush and Lindsay Lohan, attended the event as [Clooney] collected the award that celebrates his career. "There's no man probably more worthy of getting some awards," Slater told Associated Press. "He's a great artist, great director, and a phenomenal humanitarian. I think he serves as a great example to other actors, myself included," he added.
See? Not a clue. To be fair, though, if George Clooney can somehow teach Christian Slater not to fall off other people's roofs or grab ladies' arses or do voices for dirty germs in TV adverts, he deserves all the awards he can get.
Read more:
Clooney Awarded American Cinematheque Award – IOL
[story by Stuart Heritage]