Even though everyone dissed 2016 and said it was a horrible year, I think 2017 might be the actual end of days. Donald Trump is the president, there are terrorist attacks every other day, Kylie Jenner finally got off Tyga’s dick, and, the most significant sign of the apocalypse: George Clooney became a father.
Amal, George’s badass wife, gave birth on Tuesday to a baby boy and a baby girl, and George Clooney announced it in the most George Clooney way possible.
After the birth, George’s people released the following statement:
This morning Amal and George welcomed Ella and Alexander Clooney into their lives. Ella, Alexander and Amal are all healthy, happy and doing fine. George is sedated and should recover in a few days.
Ugh.
Could that announcement BE anymore George Clooney?
The first picture they released will probably be Amal snuggling the babies while George shrugs with a scotch in his hand in the background.
I feel like George Clooney is going to be one of those super annoying dads who thinks he’s really funny and tries to play fun pranks, but he’ll be like 70 when his kids are teens and none of his jokes are going to make any damn sense to them.
I wish I had more to add on this topic, but it’s a pretty simple birth announcement. Dammit, maybe this is why I kind of like writing about the Kardashians and Jenners so much. Even if the story is short I can usually go on a 200 word tangent about some shit related to their fuckery.
Well, guess I better go check the internet to see what those hoes are up to today!
Congrats George and Amal!
Phooey says
Clooney is already senile. What else explains marrying one of the ugliest women he dated? If it was me, I’m send the assault team after one of Kiebler’s eggs or many others before the scarecrow.